Damaged Souls
by bells90
Summary: Dean is back from hell but is finding out that you can't simply leave hell behind. Continually fighting and drafted by the angels for the war Dean is about to come up against something he never thought he'd have to face.
1. Chapter 1

_Dean picked up the blade with a shaking hand, the woman stapped in Dean's former place looked up at him with wide tear filled eyes. She watched him lift the razer and her bottom lip began to quiver, a tear sliding down her cheek._

"_Please" she whispered her soft voice barely reaching his ears._

_Dean bit his lip his eyes locking onto the blood stained razer clasped so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were beginning to turn white. He knew whose blood stained the blade, he'd watched it obtain the colouring, he'd felt it as it was stained. He glanced to his right where Alistair stood watching him, a self satisfied smile spreading over his face, his black eyes filled with triumph and amusement. Dean shuddered anger and fear surging through him as the black eyes watched him. He never wanted to have to look into those eyes again, for thirty years they had tortured him without respite. The woman was shaking now, tears streaming freely down her cheeks as he stepped up to her. He couldn't help wondering what she had done to end up in hell all he could see before him was a woman, her face young and scared._

"_Oh God" she breathed and Dean knew she had seen what was coming in his eyes, no matter how much he might be hesitating the decision had been made, he knew only too well the kind of pain he was about to inflict. How could he be doing this? How could he be going to torture this woman just to spare himself the pain? His hands began to shake uncontrollably. _

_Pain_

_No, he couldn't bear it anymore. The pain had stripped away everything of him, he was nothing now. All he could do was stop the pain, they'd broken him._

"_God can't help you dear" Alistair said menacingly, "Go ahead Dean or do you want to be put back on the rack?"_

_No._

_Dean lowered the razer, warm blood flowing over his hand as it bit into her flesh. She screamed in agony but he didn't stop, he couldn't, he was broken._

Dean's eyes flew open focusing on the cream ceiling above him. His victim may have vanished but he couldn't remove her from his memories. He could see clearly every cut he had made, every plea he had ignored and worst of all he could still feel the pleasure he had taken in it, in causing her pain in order to alleviate his own. But there was something else, she was familiar to him, even then . . .in hell. . .seeing her had sparked some memory in him, something that had been long forgotten, just another part of him that had been lost during his years of torment, even now he still couldn't place it.

The hole inside him seemed to grow as the memories continued to surface and Dean sat up angrily throwing the bed covers aside. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and placed his face in his hands feeling the sweat that had collected on his forehead. Of all the memories of hell this moment seemed to stand out most clearly in his mind and featured so repetively in his dreams. He just couldn't fathom why? He had tortured countless souls in the years that had followed what was so rememberable about this one? Perhaps because she was the first one? The one he now knew had been the one to break the first seal. Dean rubbed his eyes with the palms of this hands and stood squaring his shoulds as though trying to throw of the weight that had been pressing down on him since Castiel had pulled him from hell.

"Dean?" Sam sat up yawning rubbing a hand over his head and causing his already messy hair to stick up in all directions, "You okay?"

"Fine" Dean muttered turning away before Sam could examine his face too closely, the dream hadn't entirely loosened its hold on him.

"You dreaming again?" Sam asked from behind him and Dean sighed not turning around.

"Yeah Sammy just more of the same" he had to work at keeping his voice even, he wasn't ready to deal with Sam just yet, not straight after waking from his own portable hell. Something had come between them and Dean wasn't sure how to fix it, he wasn't sure at the moment that he wanted to fix it. Sam was keeping secrets from him and Dean knew it had to do with his demon powers but he no longer had the energy to argue with him. Nothing Dean had said before had stopped Sam playing with the fire and he knew nothing he said now would change that. He was tired. He turned and pulled on his jeans grabbing his jacket off the table as he moved towards the door. "I'm going for a walk" he muttered coolly and before Sam could reply he had closed the motel door behind him.

Dean knew that dawn wasn't far off but it was still cool and dark as he walked slowly down the street kicking pepples idly as he went. The images from his dream were swirling round and around his head no matter how hard he tried to push them out.

Was this his punishment? For torturing souls as he had, was this soul, the first one, to torment him for the rest of his existence? Dean refused to call it life, what he lived wasn't life, it was a joke.

"Hello Dean" a familiar voice said from his left and Dean's head jerked up looking round at the source. He was slightly surprised to see that he'd reached the end of the street and was standing on the edge of a park, empty and silent in the night, the various structures glistening with dew that reflected the moonlight. For anyone else it might have been hauntingly beautiful but for Dean he barely saw it, he rarely saw anything anymore. A figure was sitting calmly on a park bench, a tie loosely hung about his neck and a trench coat covering his clothes.

"Castiel" Dean replied suppressing a groan with difficulty, he wasn't sure he was in the mood to deal with an angel right now, even if it was the only angel he could remotely stand. He turned and sank down onto the bench beside the angel, he was so tired, he couldn't remember the last time he had slept for more than a few hours. For that to happen he would need to sleep without dreams, fat chance of that. "Bit early for a social call don't you think Cas?" he remarked idly not really caring one way or another what the angel was here for. Since he'd found out about Uriel's betrayal and consequential death Castiel had been behaving unusually seeking Dean out more often and usually for no particular reason that Dean could find.

"This could not wait"

Dean leant back in the seat and closed his eyes, it seemed this wasn't one of those times.

"Do you remember anything of when I pulled you from hell?" Castiel asked after a moment when it was clear Dean wasn't going to answer him. As usual his voice was calm and even, his face expressionless.

"No"

Castiel nodded as though this was what he expected, "We have a problem."

"No shit! Exactly what problem are you referring to Cas? Cause last time I checked we were riddled with them."

Castiel didn't react, despite his constant sarcasm and jibes directed at the angel Dean had yet to break the calm demeaner that surrounded him.

"When I raised you, we'd had to fight our way through to reach you. All was chaos and I only had a slim opportunity to grab you. I took it but in so doing I was perhaps not as careful as I should have been."

Dean's eyes flicked open and he sat up ever so slightly on the bench. An angel admitting a mistake? He'd never heard Castiel be so forthcoming with information before, was he going to admit that he hadn't brough all of him back? Or that he had been damaged further on the trip back upstairs?

"Spit it out Castiel"

"When I raised you, I believe another came with you."

"What like a hitchhiker?"

Castiel nodded, "Exactly, a soul grabbed hold of you but in the confusion of the moment I failed to notice. The soul was weak and badly damaged not much humanity still resided in it which is perhaps why I didn't sense it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"At first I believed it to be inconsequential but I received orders to locate the soul" Castiel seemed to hesitate and Dean watched a frown growing on his face, he'd never seen the angel so agitated.

"And?"

"I can't find it" Dean knew that if the angel was capable of anger and frustration on a human level those last words would have been shouted.

"So why come to me?"

"I believe if anyone can locate it, it would be you Dean" Castiel turned towards him, earnest now "Angels are not the only ones searching for the soul, demons are hunting it too and we do not know yet what this means but it is imperative we find the soul first."

"Right, and how do you suggest I go about finding it?"

"Just keep doing what you are doing Dean" Castiel replied, cool and detached again as he got to his feet, "You will know it when you see it. I'll be in touch."

The dark park was empty and silent once more except for Dean who still sat slumped on the bench. The moonlight had faded as Dean and Castiel had been speaking and Dean glanced up just as the gathering clouds broke and rain came streaming down. Dean didn't move just let the rain soak in through his clothes, right now he didn't have to pretend, his surroundings were as dark and desolate as he was.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean grimaced at the food in front of him, for the first time ever unable to bring himself to eat the disgusting diner food that was soaking in fat on the plate before him.

"Dude, you okay?" Sam asked his own meal already half eaten.

"Just not hungry"

"When are you ever not hungry?" Sam laughed incredulous.

"When I say i'm not" Dean's voice was hard and Sam's laugh vanished from his face. Dean sighed he hadn't meant for his voice to be so sharp but these days he just couldn't help it. He didn't apologise though and Sam didn't say anymore. The bell above the diner door chimed as someone entered but Dean didn't look up. Only when the noise of the diner ceased and Sam hit his arm did he raise his head.

"Dean check it out" Sam murmured gesturing with his head towards the entrance where a girl had just entered. It was impossible to tell her age though she looked to be in her early to mid twenties, her clothes were stain, torned and blackened with dirt but her skin was also so dirty it was almost impossible to tell the difference between cloth and skin. Her hair hung in lank clumps past her shoulders and her eyes were wide and wild looking as her gaze darted around the suddenly silent diner. She took a cringing step, her movements furtive and jerky and Dean could tell that she wanted nothing more than to run outside but her eyes fell on the counter where a plate of food had just been placed about to be taken to a table and Dean knew it was the smell of food that had drawn her in.

"Can I help you honey?" the large waitress behind the counter asked after a second attempting a smile but failing as her voice shook ever so slightly.

The girl's eyes fell on the waitress as she cocked her head to the side, she frowned studying the woman closely before reaching out for the plate.

"Uh that's not really-" the waitress began but her voice faltered and stopped when the girl lifted the plate to her mouth and began to shovel the food in with her hand. She was obviously starving, her slender form was so thin she was nothing more than skin and bone. Dean stood slowly his eyes fixed on the girl, his mind was whirling while it tried to place where he knew her from. He ignored Sam's inquiring gaze as he stepped forward studying the girl's face trying to see beneath the dirt. She turned to face him, her fingers in her mouth and syrup running over her chin and down her wrist. Her eyes were wide and the irises were dark, too dark. But Dean suddenly realised he had seen those eyes before, but they had been blue then, gazing up at him filled with fear and tears. It was her, it had to be, the soul from hell, the soul he had tortured, the soul whose blood had broken the first seal. The girl had frozen, the dark eyes were watching him and Dean could see the wildness in them just as Castiel's words came flying back to him,

"_The soul was weak and badly damaged not much humanity still resided in it which is perhaps why I didn't sense it."_

The girl threw the plate aside where it shattered on the floor causing everyone in the diner the jump, the girl didn't appear to notice and just licked her fingers without taking her eyes off Dean as she began to back towards the door. It opened with the tinkling of the bell and the girl spun around sinking into a crouch and hissing. The cop who had entered eyed the wild girl in front of him looking unsure.

"Alright there" he said calmly and reassuringly "Just calm down."

The girl stopped hissing but didn't move out of her crouch warily eyeing the cop and the other customers. She reminded Dean irresistably of a wild animal, cornered and he took a step back feeling slightly uneasy. Cornered animals were dangerous and Dean didn't need to be told that this girl was dangerous.

"Why don't you just come with me down to the station" the cop was saying as he took a step towards her "And we can sort all this out."

The girl hadn't moved but she hissed again when the cop stepped closer, baring her teeth.

"Hey buddy you might want to back off for a minute" Dean called out to the cop as he was stretching out a hand to grab the girl's arm.

"What are you talking about?" the cop snapped, "She's obviously not in her right mind and I need to take her to the station before she hurts herself or somebody else."

"Exactly" Dean replied, "Which is why you might want to step back, you arn't gonna get anywhere if you scare her."

"You trying to tell me how to do my job son?" The cop made a grab for the girl's arm but she leapt back out of his reach and snarling jumped ontop of the startled man slamming the palm of her hand into the man's throat as they both crashed onto the floor. The girl jumped over him and fled from the diner as the cop gasped on the floor unable to speak or stand. Dean ripped open his wallet and threw some notes down on the table not bothering to check how much it was before he tore out of the door after the girl, Sam right behind him.

It was nearly night and the few street lights in the small town where only just starting to come on. Dean glanced around frantically but the girl was no where in sight.

"Dean was that it?" Sam asked after a moment, "The soul Castiel told you about?"

"Yeah Sam, that was her" Dean replied his voice hoarse. His insides were reeling and he felt like at any moment he would be sick.

"Dean she was completely wild, I don't think she had any idea who she is why would both the angels and the demons want her?"

"I don't know"

_I don't think she had any idea who she is. _Dean swore and began to stride down the street, he had done it. He had tortured her. Whatever else had happened to turn the woman into what she was now, he had begun it. He couldn't shake the image of the soul she had been, beautiful, scared, twisted with pain and yet still so brave. Braver than he had been. What had happened to her? More words came screaming back to him, from before he went to hell, when Ruby had told him there was no way to save him. _"That's what happens when you go to hell, Dean. That's what it is. Forgetting."_

"Dean" Sam called breaking through Dean's thoughts and Dean turned to look at his little brother who was staring at him looking both concerned and irritated.

"What?"

"This isn't just another soul is it?"

"What are you talking about Sam?" Dean snapped not breaking stride.

"I saw it when we were in the diner, you know her don't you?"

"Yeah Sam, I know her" Dean replied quietly.

"Is she one of the souls you tortured" Sam asked hesitantly, he knew how touchy Dean was about the subject and therefore rarely if ever brought it up, unless it was necessary.

"She was the first one I tortured Sam" Dean answered, "It was her blood that broke the first seal."

Sam didn't answer and they walked on in silence, suddenly Dean stopped glancing to his left down an alley that had darkened as night came on. He felt rather than saw movement further in and slowly, carefully stepped into the shadows.

"Dean?" Sam murmured following him but Dean gestured for him to be quiet as the brothers moved further in.

"She's here" Dean whispered.

"How do you know?"

Dean shrugged "I dunno, I just do."

Up ahead out of the darkness came a soft hiss and Dean immediately stopped holding up his hands.

"We're not going to hurt you" he said gently not stepping any nearer. The girl moved out of the shadows, crouching low to the ground as she eyed them warily, the light from the streetlight near the mouth of the alley falling on her grubby face. "Uh i'm Dean and this is my brother Sam" Dean began still speaking softly, the girl made no move and Dean looked around at Sam for help. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't even tell if she recognised him or not.

"Dean" Sam said quietly, "I don't think she understands us"

"What?" he glanced back at the girl again and she was watching them carefully, her mouth movig slightly as though she were trying to mimic their movements though no sound came out.

"Uh what do we do now?"

Dean frowned, "Go get some food Sammy, anything, just hurry."

Sam nodded and smiling reasurringly, backed his way out of the alley, disappearing onto the street. Dean remained where he was standing the girl had yet to take her dark eyes off him. Dean took a step forward and the girl jerked back but Dean ignored her sitting down on a dry patch of ground by a puddle, his back against the alley wall. After about five minutes the girl moved closer again, she was looking at his bare arms with a hint off bafflement. Dean held completely still as she slowly reached out a blackened finger and touched his clean arm. Her finger left a smear of dirt and she cocked her head to the side, studying it with a frown. Very slowly Dean wet his finger in the puddle beside him and reached out to touch her arm, she flinched but suffered his touch staring in amazement at the clean mark his finger had made. She looked between the clean mark on her arm to the dirty mark on his arm looking confused as though their skins had rubbed off on each another.

"Dean" Dean said gently pointing to himself, "Dean"

She didn't say anything just continued to stare with wide eyes her head still tilted to the side.

"De-een" she said slowly in a hoarse whisper.

Dean smiled, "Dean" he said carefully and distinctly.

"Deen" the girl replied imitating his smile, though her skin and clothes were as black as though she had rolled in mud, her smile revealed straight white teeth.

Dean nodded and pointed at her, "Deen" she replied obligingly pointing at herself.

Dean grinned and wondering if his name was the only word she would say pointed to himself again, "Dean", he glanced around for a moment unsure before pointing at her "Soda."

She frowned, "So-dar."

Dean nodded as the girl pointed at him "Deen" then pointed to herself "Sodar."

"Close enough" Dean said and turned to look at the mouth of the alley, he could hear footsteps and within seconds Sam had come into view. "Hungry?" Dean asked rising to his feet. Alarm flared in her eyes and she sunk back but Dean mimicked eating and slowly hunger replaced her fear.

"Sam meet Soda" Dean said brightly as he got closer, Dean turned to Soda and pointed, "Sam."

"Sam" Soda repeated pointing at Sam.

Dean grinned his smile faltering when he turned to see Sam glaring at him. Sam's eyes flicked to the pile of empty softdrink cans abandoned amongst other rubbish, "Soda huh?"

Dean shrugged, "When she learns to talk she can pick her own name, for now she's Soda, I kinda like it." He grinned again and began digging in the plastic bag full of food that Sam had brought. He withdrew a burger and pulled off the wrapper handing it to Soda who immediately plonked herself on the ground and began to devour it.

"What do we do with her now Dean?"


	3. Chapter 3

Soda had been hard to coax from the alley but at last, with much exaggerated mimicry of eating delicious food the brothers had managed it. Sam had left and returned with a pair of grey jeans and a loose fitting green top which he had gifted to Soda while Dean showed her how to work the shower in the motel bathroom before quickly leaving her too it. Sam pulled out his laptop and the brother's sat in silence as they so often did these days. Dean didn't attempt to break it, he never did and tonight he was even more preoccupied than usual. Had Soda really hitched a ride when Castiel had pulled him from the pit? How had she done it? He knew that he most likely would never find out. His musings were cut short when the bathroom door opened. Standing in the doorway was a slender almost too skinny young woman with creamy pale skin and shiny locks of golden hair that fell below her shoulders. Dean gaped at the beautiful woman before him, at last he could see clearly the soul he had tortured as she was restrained on the rack. Dean glanced at Sam who was looking similarly stunned, who would have guessed that such beauty lay beneath all that dirt. Soda's dark almost black eyes darted around uneasily reminding Dean that the wild girl had not washed away with the dirt.

"Don't stare at her Sam" Dean murmured, "She doesn't understand."

Soda's golden hair was still sopping wet, dripping down the back of her green shirt and onto the carpet. Sam moved towards her, reaching for the towel that Soda clutched uselessly in her hand. Soda sank back from him, baring her teeth as she stared mistrustfully at him. Sam stopped confused and Dean sighed stepping past his younger brother and reaching out for the towel. Soda hesitated, "Deen" she said and released the towel when he tugged on it firmly. Dean glanced at Sam again who merely shrugged and retreated back to his laptop, as Dean, looking extremely uncomfortable, gestured for Soda to sit on the edge of the bed. With a slight frown creasing his forehead Dean began to gently towel her hair dry. While he worked he was unable to banish the memories of the last time he had touched her, unable to quite forget her screams of agony. If it was the last thing he did he would make sure Soda was never hurt again, it would never make up for what he had done to her, but it was all he had left that he could do.

When Soda's hair was no longer dripping Dean threw the towel aside and went to move away but Sam, smiling slightly, shook his head. "You gotta brush the knots out Mum" he joked throwing a comb at Dean. Soda snarled and flinched back as Dean caught it scowling. Fear had filled Soda's eyes and not for the first time Dean wondered what, if anything, Soda could remember of hell. Dean swiftly dragged the comb through his own hair, showing her what it did before handing it to her. Soda promptly bit it, her eyes widening when she tasted plastic. Dean rolled his eyes and took the comb back reaching for her golden locks.

"You tell anyone about this Sammy and i'll shoot you" Dean muttered as he awkwardly began to comb out the tangles.

"You know you never answered me"

"About what?"

"About what we're going to do with her, hand her over to the angels?"

"Depends what they want her for, previously when they've looked for someone its never been the result of good intentions, remember Anna?"

"If only we knew more about her" Sam said thoughtfully "I wonder how she ended up in hell?"

"Does it matter?" Dean snapped

"No" Sam said quickly looking unsure as to how he had angered his brother this time, "But she obviously sold her soul I would just love to know what she considered worth an eternity in hell."

Dean put down the comb and handed Soda the remote control for the t.v. She gasped when the moving picture filled the screen, her eyes were wide with fascination and her face lit with delight as she pressed button after button flicking through the channels. She slid off the bed and knelt down in front of the t.v sitting on her feet, her eyes glued to the screen. Dean went back to the table sitting down opposite Sam, running a hand wearily through his hair.

"Maybe we could do a hypnosis thing on Soda, like Pamela did with Anna" Sam said doubtfully.

"Don't know about you Sammy but i'm not so up on the psychic stuff as I used to be."

"We don't have to do it"

"Then who? In case you forgot we got Pamela killed and we don't know any others like her."

The brother's were silent again, Sam was frowning in thought and Dean was watching Soda who had stopped on an episode of the Simpsons. She reached out for the screen puzzlement on her face as she glanced from her white skin to the yellow cartoons.

"Missouri" Sam said suddenly.

"What?"

"Missouri, we can ask Missouri" his smile faded ever so slightly when Dean just looked at him, "From Lawrence?"

Comprehension dawned on Dean's face as he remembered the only time he and Sam had returned to their childhood home since the death of their mother.

"Maybe she can help us?" Sam said hopefully.

"Worth a shot" Dean admitted with a shrug.

Suddenly Soda shot up off the floor snarling as she crouched in a fighting stance wild eyes on the door. Dean and Sam leapt to their feet glancing around to see two men standing by the entrance.

"Castiel" Dean said resignedly "Don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting your friend."

"This is Raphael" Castiel said in his usual monotone voice.

The other angel stepped forward, his human host had blonde hair combed meticulosly back and a strong handsome face. His suit didn't have a wrinkle and Castiel looked remarkably shabby next to him dressed as usual in his trench coat and loose tie.

"Pleasure" Dean said sarcastically and Raphael actually smiled.

"I have heard a lot about you Dean" the angel said in a quiet slightly husky voice, "And I must admit I have looked forward to meeting you for some time."

"Yes well" he shrugged modestly, "happens to the best of them."

"What is this about?" Sam broke in sinking back down into his chair though Dean remained standing.

"We've discovered that a seal is about to be broken and we need your help" Castiel replied but his gaze drifted to Soda who had backed away slightly her teeth still bared.

"Is this the soul?" Raphael asked Castiel also turning to look at Soda.

"Yes" Castiel's expression didn't change but Dean thought he saw the angels eyes darken as he studied the golden haired woman.

"It is damaged" Raphael said simply as Soda hissed at the angels her wide eyes darting around in panic as the angels continued to stare at her.

"Stop it" Dean said angrily stepping past the angels to stand near Soda, "You're scaring her."

"Well done Dean" Castiel said expressionessly "I knew you would be able to find it."

"Her"

Castiel paused then nodded his head once in acknowledgement "Of course, her."

"So about this seal?" Sam asked drawing attention back towards him.

"We do not know when or where this seal will be broken" Raphael replied, "But this seal is incredibly important, we must save it at all costs."

"This seal is preceded by ten signs, when the final sign is completed the seal will be broken" Castiel added, "You must not let this happen."

"Why us?" Dean asked, "If all you angels are so informed about it, why don't you stop it?"

The angels exchanged a glance.

"No wait" Dean said sarcastically "let me guess, orders?"

"Yes, orders" Raphael replied simply, "But even were we not ordered to stand down it would do no good. Angels can not save this seal Dean, there is only one who can."

"Who?"

"The soul" Raphael frowned ever so sightly as he glanced at Soda who had stopped hissing and had risen slightly from her crouch and now stood close behind Dean looking slightly reassured. "This I did not expect" Raphael frowned at Castiel who didn't reply.

"Soda?" Dean asked confused "How can Soda stop the seal being broken? She doesn't even know who she is."

"We don't know" Castiel answered. Raphael continued to look at Dean calmly but he noticed that Castiel hadn't quite met his eyes.

"So what are these signs?" Sam asked intervening again before Dean could get fired up at the angels.

"You will know them" Raphael replied.

Soda hissed and Dean glanced around at her, her dark eyes were narrowed in the direction of the angels but when Dean looked back they were gone.

"Well they were as helpful as usual" Dean muttered darkly. He glanced at Soda who had once again turned her attention back to the t.v. As he watched her he couldn't quite forget the way, when he had asked how Soda was to stop the seal, Castiel hadn't been able to meet his eyes.

_(Sorry this chapter is a little bit shorter, i'll hopefully write a longer one next time. Please review, i would love to hear your thoughts and feedback. Thank you to all those who are reading :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Dean closed his eyes but the screams and groans of agony that filled hell assaulted his ears, never allowing him one second of respite. Heat washed over him and he swayed where he stood, sweat dripping off him and sliding down his bare torso. Before him he could hear the agonised cries as the torn, burned, tortured soul was dragged roughly from the rack and another soul was put in its place. He didn't want to open his eyes but he knew he must, if he hesitated even for a moment he would be placed back on the rack. He would do anything to keep that from happening. He'd seen and felt enough of what hell provided. Pain, fear, hopelessness, defeat, agony. He slowly opened stinging eyes, wincing through a haze of smoke that smelled of burnt flesh. Before him on the rack was a girl, her head was resting weakly on her chest but he recognised her immediately. She had been on the rack the very first time he had turned torturer, when he had finally given in to Alistair's offer. That had been five years ago, Dean had long since lost count of the souls that had been placed before him. He no longer felt, he had locked himself away and now merely did as was asked of him, robotically, methodolically and ruthlessly. He no longer trembled when he heard the agonised pleas directed at him, merely cut deeper, rewarded only by Alistair's evident pleasure and amusement. The girl raised her head, blood streaming down her cheeks as her broken arms were strapped into place so tightly that the shattered bone broke through her skin. She cried out, gasping as she struggled the regain the breath that had been forced from her. Dean stepped forward and the girl's empty eye sockets searched for him uselessly. Dean raised the red hot brand his face expressionless and held it in front of her bare stomach. She tried to shrink back from the heat but she had no where left to go, she bared her teeth in a snarl as Dean took a breath before pressing the brand against her skin. The sizzling of burning skin reached his ears and the smell hit him a second later, but by now he was so used to it that he didn't even grimace. The girl screamed as he pressed the burning brand deeper, scorching through layers of skin. Her scream choked off as all breath left her lungs but Dean didn't stop. This was hell, there was no respite, no sleep, no unconciousness and no death. Hell was eternal and he was in the heart of it. _

Dean jerked awake gasping for breath, sweat beading his forehead. A hand was shaking his shoulder and he struggled to focus his eyes, peering through the darkness. A sick feeling filled his stomach when he saw the face above him, no longer contorted with pain. The eyes replaced in the empty sockets were gleaming in the darkness as they looked down on him looking both confused and concerned.

"Soda" Dean breathed relaxing back against his pillow and wiping the sweat off his face with a shaking hand. Soda frowned and reached out to touch the back of his shaking hand, then touched the gleaming white bed sheet beneath him. Dean understood her meaning at once, why was he so white and shaking? "Bad dream" Dean said quietly, miming sleeping and waking with a shock.

"Bad dreem?" Soda repeated cocking her head to the side in the now familiar habit she had when trying to understand. Dean nodded and Soda immediately copied the motion causing Dean to smile. Soda seemed so haunted, wild and violent and yet at times such as this, there was such a childlike innocence about her that for some reason made Dean feel not quite as lost. Dean sat up, all thoughts of sleep banished again for another night. The motel room felt stuffy and Dean glanced over at Sam who had his back to them, his regular deep breathing indicating that he was fast asleep. Feeling the compelling urge to feel the cool night air on his hot skin Dean pushed the covers back and pulled on a t-shirt. He turned around to see Soda watching him from where she still was kneeling on the edge of the bed.

"Want to come for a walk?" he whispered trying not to wake Sam, pointing to his legs as he took a few steps and gestured at the door. Soda unfurled her limbs and followed Dean gracefully to the door on her long legs. Moving with the stealth of a deer but with the barely concealed threat of a lion.

The night was cold and Dean pulled his jacket closer about him as the wind flew spinning leaves across the empty road. Soda moved easily at his side her golden hair pushed back off her shoulders by the breeze. She wasn't wearing a jacket and at first Dean was worried she'd be cold but she was dancing along with her unimitatable cat-like grace and did not seem to notice the cold weather. They walked in companionable silence and Dean was glad to be relieved of the need to break a silence. There was something about Soda that drew him to her, she was damaged and broken he could see it in her eyes and he knew she could see it in his, even if she might not understand it.

Dean looked up as he walked, for the first time on his frequent night wandering noticing where he was walking. The moon was large and almost full in a diamond sky and Dean couldn't drag his eyes away, he'd never looked at the night sky before his death beneath the claws of the hell hounds. Often in hell during his long years of torture he had wished he had looked more often, down there it hadn't seemed so weak and girly to appreciate a night sky or a sunrise. It had been something beautiful, something from another life and another place, something to hold onto. He was snapped out of his reverie when Soda suddenly snarled grabbing his arm and spinning him around. Behind them spread out across the road was three dark figures. The middle one stepped forward the light from a dim street light falling on his face. He smiled and blinked his eyes turning black and Dean swore as the demon began to chuckle, its two companions stepping up to flank him.

"Step aside Winchester" the demon said menacingly its dark eyes falling on Soda who bared her teeth, "It's the girl we want."

"Oh yeah and why's that?" Dean snarled inching ever so slightly closer to Soda without taking his eyes off the three demons who were slowly stepping closer spreading out to flank them as they did so.

"Our surperiors have plans for her" the demon replied, "Don't think it's worth the time personally." His eyes fell on Soda who hissed back at him sinking into a crouch her eyes wildly flicking from one to another.

"What kind of plans?" Dean asked pulling his gun out of the waistband of his jeans and pointing it straight at the demon's heart. He knew it would do no good, a bullet wouldn't even slow the thing down but he felt more secure with it in his hand.

"All in good time Dean" the demon said smiling "All in good time."

"Well I suggest you go crawl back under whatever rock you came from because the only way you're laying a hand on her is over my dead body."

"That can be arranged."

The demons leapt forward and Dean ducked the fast punch back handing the offending demon with the hilt of his gun. The female demon spun backwards landing on the road and spitting out the blood that was filling her mouth. The demon who had been speaking took the opportunity presented by Dean's distraction and slammed his fist into Dean's jaw dropping him to the tar. His head spinning from the force of the punch Dean heard Soda snarl and looked up to see her leap at the demon that had circled round to the left. The speed and force of her punches and kicks more than matched those of the demon. Dean had never seen a human move as fast nor hit as hard before.

"_Not much humanity still resided in it." _

Not for the first time he wondered how long she had been in hell for, perhaps she had not been far off turning into a demon, perhaps that was why her blue eyes were now nearly black. Feeling uneasy Dean pushed the thought from his mind and quickly scrambled to his feet wiping blood off his lip with the back of his hand. Hate and anger was running through him and Dean struck out at the demon causing its head to whip to the side with the force of the blow, but unlike the first demon this one didn't fall to the ground. Dean grabbed it by the shoulders and slammed his knee into its stomach, once, twice before hitting it once more, this time dropping it to the ground. Hands landed on his shoulders and he spun to be hit once more. He fell to the road again hard and the female demon landed on top of him slamming his head into the hard tar. She grabbed him by the hair lifting his head to slam it against the road again and again. Dean's vision darkened but he lifted his arm anyway slamming upwards blindly and feeling a nose break beneath his palm. The demon cried out and he threw her off him, rolling over and blinking groggily as he placed a hand to his aching head feeling blood beneath his fingers. His eyes focused and he saw a body on the ground near him, its eyes stared at him blankly and Dean knew that the body was empty. Confused he tried to pull himself into sitting position looking around for Soda, the female demon had risen to her feet and joined the other remaining demon circling the girl. Suddenly there was a shout and the demons turned to look in the direction of the dark figure running towards them. Soda didn't turn to look and merely jumped at the nearest demon throwing it to the ground as she punched it on the jaw but Dean's eyes were drawn to Sam who was illuminated under the street light as he arrived. The demon's eyes widened before narrowing with hate.

"You" it hissed and strided forward but Sam threw up a hand stopping it in its tracks. Sam's face was expressionless as he slowly closed his open hand into a fist. The demon choked its hands flying to its throat and black smoke began to leak from its mouth and nose. Sam gritted his teeth but no other strain or effort was evident as a flood of black smoke left the body streaming to the ground at its feet. When the last of the smoke was gone Sam lowered his arm and the now empty body hit the ground. Sam quickly moved forward to put his fingers to its throat but there was apparently no pulse for within seconds he was standing cursing quietly as he turned towards Dean.

"You okay?" he asked quickly, his forehead creased with concern as he held out a hand to help Dean to his feet.

"Fine Sam" Dean replied coldly pulling himself to his feet but ignoring his brother's hand. He didn't want to touch his brother, he didn't even want to look at him. Afraid of what he would do or say Dean turned away looking for Soda. A body was motionless on the road and above it stood Soda gazing down at it. She spun as though she sensed his eyes on her and bared her teeth. Dean could see the wild unreasonable hate still in her eyes and even in the dark he could see the tense set of her shoulders and the ready stance she held. He could see how close she was to attacking them and slowly raised his hands in a non threatening way.

"It's okay Soda" Dean said gently, "It's just us, Sam and Dean."

Soda frowned but he saw the wild look in her eyes slowly fade and her posture slightly relax. Her eyes rested on his for a moment before flicking over his shoulder to Sam's. Dean could see it in her expression that she had seen what he had done and he knew it was just his imagination but he could have sworn her eyes looked darker than ever.


	5. Chapter 5

_The skin on his face was blistering as the intense heat washed over him. His eyes were gritty and stinging but he couldn't look away from the flames. Screams from those within the fire drifted to him with the choking, heavy smoke. The flickering light was mesmorising, how long would it take him to burn until there was nothing left? His eyes filled with hopeless tears and only his stubborn will kept him on his feet. When he had burned to nothing he would be made whole again and then the cutting, tearing and burning would begin again. It never stopped, never._

Dean closed his eyes turning his head away from the flames that devoured the three bodies that lay side by side in the pit he had just dug. He rested an arm on his knee dropping his face into his hands, his head was aching from where the demon had slammed it against the road and the resulting headache was making it hard for him to concentrate. He pulled himself to his feet and turned his back to the fire before opening his eyes. Soda was standing a few feet back by his duffel back and Dean could see the flames reflected in her eyes. Her hands were clenched into fists and she was shivering despite the heat being radiated by the consuming fire. Dean was startled to see the expression on her face, it was undisguised pure fear, her eyes were wide with panic though she did not look away.

"Soda?" Dean stepped up to her but she didn't appear to hear him. He grabbed her arms and shook her slightly forcing her to shift her gaze from the fire to him, "Are you afraid of the fire?" he asked, "Do you remember fire? Fire?"

Her eyes were wide and for the first time since he had seen her Soda looked scared, alone and vulnerable. She didn't say anything just watched the flames and Dean sighed unsure what to do. After a moment he gently pulled her towards him, her cheek resting against his chest so that his body hid the flames from her. Dean uncomfortably patted her back as she simply stood there her hands hanging at her sides, he'd never been good at comfort, it wasn't how he was made. He'd tried to send Soda back with Sam to the motel while he got rid of the bodies but she had refused to go, she still would not go within a foot of Sam. Dean was a little surprised usually Sam's bambi eyes and his generally sypmathetic, compassionate nature drew lost and scared people to him like moths. But not Soda, she seemed to have an aversion to him almost as strong as she had had to the demons and the angels.

Sam glanced up looking wary as Dean strode into the motel room followed closely by Soda. But Dean didn't look at his brother, he didn't want to talk about what Sam had done that night. More than anything else it had scared Dean, when he'd come back from hell he'd seen Sam exorcising a demon, it had taken heaps out of him, it had taken effort, Dean had witnessed that. But last night Sam had barely even blinked, it had seemed to take no more effort than simply waving a hand. Dean wasn't sure what this meant but he knew that it wasn't good and a dark feeling of foreboding settled over him when he thought about Sam's powers.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked his eyes on Dean who was swiftly throwing clothes into a bag.

"We're going to Lawrence, maybe you're right, maybe she can help us with Soda" Dean replied without looking up while he zipped the bag closed. He stood up swinging the bag over his shoulder "Come on Sammy we're going to see Missouri."

Sam quickly stood up frowning as he dug around for his own clothes, "What's going on Dean, why are you in such a hurry?"

Dean didn't answer he didn't want to voice the sudden hope that maybe Soda could remember who she was, that maybe the effects of hell could be undone. Soda was terrified of fire, that had to mean something. He picked up one of his jackets and handed it to Soda who clutched it to her chest. Rolling his eyes Dean tugged at his own jacket reaching out to help her when frowning she pulled it on. The thin jacket was far too large for her, swamping her slender form but it would do for now, it would at least protect her a little from the chill winter air. "Let's go."

Within ten minutes of being on the road Soda had curled up on the backseat like a cat and was fast asleep. The brother's were quiet and even the radio sat in the dash dark and silent. "Say something Dean" Sam muttered at last turning to face his older brother.

"What do you want me to say Sammy?" Dean replied coldly.

"Say you're angry, say you're disappointed, I dunno just say something!"

"Angry?" Dean shook his head, his lips pressed together in a thin line "You know how I feel about this Sam and i'm not getting into it again with you."

"I really don't think this is a bad thing" Sam said earnestly ignoring Dean's glare, "I can-"

"No Sam" Dean almost shouted cutting him off, "Don't you dare sit there and tell me this is a good thing. I heard Pamela before she died Sam."

Sam's expression went cold "I don't know what you are talking about" he said stiffly.

"Yeah you do" Dean replied, he knew Pamela's words off by heart. During his night walks when he was trying to drive the dreams of hell out of his head, her words had drifted in to replace them.

"_I can feel what's inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again."_

"Dean i'm just trying-"

"I know Sam, i've heard it all before. I know you think you are doing the right thing here but wake up! Everyone else can see what this is doing to you, me, Pamela, Castiel even Soda for godsake!" Sam didn't reply as Dean's voice steadily got louder till he was fighting not to shout. "She won't come anywhere near you, now why would that be Sam? You aren't you anymore Sam, I don't know who you are but you're sure not my little brother."

"You were in hell" Sam spat through gritted teeth, "I not only had to deal with the fact that it was my fault but also that I had demon blood inside me. I know what I am doing, i'm trying to find a reason for why this happened to us. To find something that will have come out of it."

"Like I said Sammy, nothing I haven't heard before."

"You act like you're all high and mighty and too good for me but news flash Dean you're not. Don't think I don't know that you're keeping secrets from me aswell, don't think I don't see how you look at me and what you think of me. I do. If you had just-" Sam stopped shaking his head as he looked away from his brother back out the passenger window. He didn't finish what he was going to say but Dean didn't need him too, he knew, if he had just let Sam go when he'd been killed, none of this would have happened. Dean sighed sinking slightly in the seat, he hadn't been able to do it and he knew deep down that no matter how bad things were between them now he would do the same thing. Whatever he had just said, Sammy was still his brother, he was all he had, he needed him. If only he could make him see the truth about his powers, if only he could make him understand. He glanced over his shoulder into the backseat, Soda had been woken by their loud voices. Though she was still curled in the cat-like position, her eyes were fixed on the back of Sam's head and Dean felt uneasy when he saw the dark eyes shadowed with an unreadable emotion. If only she could speak, Dean would have given anything to know what she sensed about Sam.

The door opened and a black woman stood framed in the door way her eyes flicking from Sam to Dean. A smile spread across her face as she stepped back, "Sam, Dean come on in" her voice was high pitched and welcoming but Dean thought he could detect a slight wariness in her voice.

"Hey Missouri" Sam replied with an easy smile stepping past her, "Long time no see."

"Too long, now let me get a good look at you," she closed the door and stood in front of them with her hands on her hips as she eyed them up and down. "Oh you poor boys" Missouri said softly, "You've had to endure so much since last I saw you." She reached out and took Dean's hand in her own, "I know about hell, i'm so sorry honey." When Dean just nodded she looked over his shoulder to where Soda was standing as close to him as she could, her wide eyes fixed on Missouri with interest. "Well who have we here?" Missouri asked letting go of Dean and shunting him aside as she stepped towards Soda and to Dean's immense surprise Soda neither backed away nor hissed merely stood still watching Missouri with the same curious interest. Soda lifted a hand and touched Missouri's dark arm, when she withdrew her finger she frowned confused when there was no change in her skin colour. Dean laughed aloud when he realised what she was doing and Missouri smiled when she caught the tenor of Dean's thoughts. "Mine won't wash off sweetheart" Missouri told her stroking Soda's arm back and leaving no mark. "So this is why you have come then?" Missouri said rather than asked, "You want to know who this girl is?"

Dean and Sam exchanged a glance, "Well yeah" Dean said uncertaintly, "Can you tell us?"

Missouri met Soda's eyes attempting to read her, almost as one would read a book. Missouri sighed and turned around meeting Dean's gaze sadly, "I'm sorry Dean but I can't give you the answers you want, she will never come back, there are barely echoes of snatches of who she was left, there is nothing to draw out."

"What do you mean echoes?"

"I can sense a few things from her but they are things she has forgotten, and I can only read them weakly, like a bad signal." Missouri turned away and moved into the next room pushing aside the beads that hung in the doorway as she did so. Sam and Dean followed taking up their previous positions from when they had visited all that time ago. It seemed so long ago, almost like another lifetime.

"What can you sense?"

Missouri frowned, "She sold her soul to save her daughter, to bring her baby girl back from death, that is the only memory of before her death she still has though she doesn't remember it. Hell has stripped away everything from her, she's like a clean slate." Missouri shuddered, "She was in hell so long. . .so long." Her voice trailed away as she glanced at Soda who was standing in the doorway examining the hanging strands of beads with fascination. "She should be a demon by now" Missouri whispered more to herself than to the brothers, "So why isn't she?"


	6. Chapter 6

"She should be a demon?" Sam asked with a frown, Soda seemed to finally notice the attention being directed at her and glanced around letting the beads slide through her fingers. Looking unsure she took a hesitant step from the door and stopped her eyes seeking out Dean. He jerked his head at the space next to him on the lounge and Soda relaxed slightly moving towards him but instead of sitting on the couch she sank down on the floor folding her long legs neatly beneath her.

"Dean has told you that time in hell passes differently?" Missouri asked and continued when Sam nodded. "With most souls it take a few hundred years in hell to completely be turned into a demon. To forget everything you are made of and what makes you who you are so you can then be molded and shaped in hells image."

"And this happens to every single one?" Sam asked aghast while Dean sat silently, no expression changing his face, this wasn't anything he hadn't heard before.

"Every single one" Missouri confirmed, "The time varies, some souls are stronger and last longer but in the end they are turned and there is no returning, their human soul is destroyed." Missouri's eyes drifted back to Soda, "She has been in hell for over a thousand years, counted as they pass down there and yet she is no demon. Her soul is damaged beyond repair and barely retains any humanity within it but it still holds its shape. It is thin and barely holding together in places but it is there, I just don't know how this is possible."

Dean felt the blood drain from his face as he glanced down at Soda's golden head. She had closed her eyes and was leaning her head against his knees. Her face could not be described as peaceful in sleep, it was strangely empty and watching her Dean felt deathly tired, how he wished he could sleep as quickly and easily as Soda. Pity filled him and shame, he'd been in hell for forty years, how could that possibly compare to over a thousand years of torment?

"Even a day in hell is more than anyone should have to endure" Missouri said softly and Dean glanced up to see that this time her eyes rested on him.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything about the seal either" Missouri said slowly "I wish I could but I don't know. I know you were hoping I would have all the answers but I don't." Missouri's expression was earnest as leant forward towards the brothers, "You need to speak to Castiel" her eyes shifted back to Soda's slumbering form, "And soon."

As they were leaving Missouri caught Sam's arm before he could follow Dean and Soda through the door. "Do you remember sitting on the stairs of your old house asking me what was wrong with you?" Sam frowned and nodded, "You've been through a lot since then Sam, I just wish you would still question yourself the way you used to. Perhaps you should be, things aren't always what they seem. Dean isn't your daddy, he's your brother and he does care about you. Give him some credit, he might not be the brightest light in the harbour but he sees things clearer than most and he can see you and what you're failing to see." She let go of his arm and stepped past him to meet Dean and Soda on the front steps.

"Take care of yourselves" Missouri said and patted Soda's cheek affectionately, "Don't make it years before I see you boys again."

"Mis-ery" Soda said quietly and patted Missouri's cheek making her laugh joyfully.

"Ooo I like this one" Missouri grinned, "Make sure you bring her with you."

Dean pushed the motel room door open and threw his bag irritably on the nearest bed. Sam was quiet as he followed his brow furrowed in thought, he hadn't said a word since they had left Missouri's but Dean didn't try to snap him out of it. When he felt like it he would tell him what was bothering him and if he was keeping more secrets then Dean didn't want to know. Sam didn't look at him just strode across the motel room and closed the bathroom door behind him.

"Castiel?" Dean shouted and Soda flinched as she slunk past him. Dean huffed angry at himself before closing the door behind her. "Castiel!" Dean shouted louder this time. He heard Soda hiss and whirled around as she darted behind him away from the angel who had just appeared in the middle of the room.

"Hello Dean" the angel said quietly, "You yelled?"

Dean raised an eyebrow incredulously, "Humour Cas?"

The angel didn't smile and Dean rolled his eyes, folding his arms as he did so. "I want answers Castiel, I know you know more than you are letting on."

"What do you need answered?" Castiel asked calmly his eyes falling on Soda who was now peering around Dean's shoulder, her face curious now rather than alarmed.

"A little intel on this seal we're meant to be saving would be appreciated" Dean replied immediately, trying to ignore the girl behind him.

"We told you what we knew" Castiel replied "What more do you wish?"

"Oh I dunno, a few specifics would be nice" Dean said sarcastically.

Castiel frowned, "We have told you what you need."

"Yeah well it's not good enough, I think you could manage to tell us a little more, like what these signs are and how we are meant to stop this."

"The signs you will know and you will know how to stop this when the time comes" once again Castiel's eyes drifted to Soda.

"What does Soda have to do with this?" Dean snapped his arms folded so tightly his shoulders were aching.

"I do not know" there was no doubt about it, Castiel was avoiding his gaze.

"Castiel, tell me what you know or I swear to God-"

"Do not take the Lord's name in vain" Castiel said wearily and turned away sitting down on the end of one of the bed's. Dean didn't say anything just waited for the angel to speak, at last he glanced up. "We don't know exactly what part the soul will play" he began.

"Me Soda" Soda whispered only the slightest quiver in her voice, she was obviously still unsure of the angel and hadn't ventured from Dean's side. Dean's eyes widened in surprise, he was never sure how much Soda understood and she had never strung words together on her own before, but she obviously knew that they were talking about her. Castiel looked similarly surprised but quickly masked his features over once more, "Soda" he said gently and flashed in her direction what could have passed as a smile. On the grim faced angel the change was startling.

"Dean you've been completely focused on your own part in this but you have failed to take into consideration the other factor."

Dead shook his head a frown creasing his forehead as he stared at the angel confused, "What?"

"_And the first seal shall break when a righteous man spills blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break."_ Castiel recited, "I told you only the man who began it can end it and that is all you have been focusing on. You have given no thought to the actual blood that was spilled."

Realisation settled on him "Soda?" Dean muttered, "She was the blood. What does that mean for her now?"

"As I said we don't know yet" Castiel replied "But the demons want her back, and badly. Whatever her role in this seal is, I fear the direction of the war hinges on it."

Suddenly Sam burst out of the bathroom, his eyes wide with disgust and panic. Dean squinted at his brother focusing on his mouth, "Sammy is that blood?"

Sam winced spitting and swiping at his tongue with his hands, "Two seconds ago it was water" he answered looking faintly sick.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that one second water was coming out of the tap and the next is was blood" he strode over to the mini fridge and reached in for a bottle of water to rinse out his mouth. His eyes widened as he held up the clear plastic bottle, but the water inside was a deep, dark, red. "They're all like this" Sam said looking confused and faintly disgusted as he held the bottle up to the light.

"Cas?" Dean asked turning around to face the angel but he was gone, "Son of a bitch!" Dean swore punching the air.

"Tell you anything interesting?" Sam asked, "Or remotely helpful?"

"Oh come on Sam" Dean snapped "When is an angel ever helpful?"

Sam nodded in acknowledgement, placing the bottle of blood on the table. "Think that maybe this is the first sign?" Sam asked doubtfully, "Castiel said we'd know it when we saw it, this is pretty hard to miss."

Dean shrugged "I spose, but what are we meant to do about it? We have no idea what it means or whose doing it."

"Wait" Sam said slowly, "Didn't he say that there were ten signs?"

"Yeah. .I think so, why?"

"Dean, in the old testament there were the ten plagues of Egypt, the first plague was water turning into blood."

Dean looked incredulous, "The ten plagues of Egypt? Really? That's what you've come up with?"

Sam shrugged, "It makes sense Dean, it all fits. The plagues of Egypt was a defining moment in both the Christian and the Jewish faiths, who says the re-creation of the plagues isn't a seal?"

"I dunno, it just seems a little far fetched"

"Think about our lives Dean" Sam replied simply, "Think about what we've seen."

"Good point"

Dean's eyes fell on the bottle of blood, "Okay so catch me up again, the plagues . .first there was the blood obviously and then the frogs or the boils?"

Sam counted them off on his fingers as he remembered, "Frogs, Gnats or Lice, Flies, Livestock Diseased, Boils, Hail and Fire, Locusts, Darkness and-" Sam's voice trailed away.

"What?" Dean prompted when Sam suddenly looked stricken.

"Death of the firstborn" Sam whispered, "Dean we have to stop this!"


	7. Chapter 7

Dean sat slumped in a chair his eyes on the bottle of blood still standing on the table. Sam was pacing the room talking heatedly into his phone but Dean wasn't listening, the list of plagues was running through his head. He knew it made sense, he knew it fitted the facts as they knew them but he was having a little trouble believing it. If Sam was right, then apparently if they didn't stop it, he would die, along with every other firstborn in god only knew how big of an area. Sam snapped his phone closed and stalked over to the table throwing himself into his chair in front of his laptop.

"What does Bobby have to say?" Dean asked as Sam began to flick through websites, his brown eyes almost blurred as he scanned the information.

"Not much, he's as skeptical as you" Sam replied without looking up, "He's going to do some digging though but he said that if we're right then he has absolutely no idea how to stop it."

"And if the angels know they aren't telling which means it's up to us" Dean snapped coldly kicking his chair aside as he stood, angrily running a hand through his hair. He was sick of all the pressure falling on him, on everyone standing back and waiting for him to fix the impossible. Soda glanced up at him as he paced past but her attention was quickly reclaimed by the TV set in front of her. Dean couldn't help dwelling on what Castiel had said. It was true, he had only been thinking of his part in the apocalypse but what about Soda? Was she connected to this too? He had spilled blood in hell and broken the first seal, but he hadn't given a thought to the actual blood that had been used to break the seal. A thought suddenly occurred to him and he swung around to look at Soda again, they had used him on purpose just another part of their sick game. When his Dad hadn't broken they had used him, a weaker model. Maybe the game hadn't ended with him, maybe there was no coincidence that Soda had been the first victim and that now she sat in front of him. Maybe the reason she hadn't turned into a demon had to do with why the demons had chosen her blood to break the seal. Dean sighed irritably striding back to the table. It just sounded like a lot of 'maybes' and 'what ifs' to him.

"So first things first, we need to find out what or who is doing this" Dean said picking up the chair and sitting down on it backwards facing Sam.

"Well I've been thinking about that and my best guess is that it's a demon or demons."

"So what? Instead of the seven deadly sins it's the..the 'ten horrible plagues?"

Sam shrugged, "Maybe, though I'm not too sure on the 'horrible' part."

"Right" Dean rolled his eyes, "So what happened in the bible? What stopped the plagues?"

"When the Pharaoh of Egypt let the Israel slaves go" Sam answered, "But something tells me that wont work this time, unless of course you have a horde of slaves you haven't told me about?" Though the joke was only half-hearted Dean couldn't help smiling, despite the gravity of the situations, this was how it used to be between them. Light, easy and fun despite all the darkness. He'd give anything to get that back. Sam blinked in surprise to see Dean's smile and grinned back, it had been a long time since he'd seen his older brother smile.

"Alright, so we find point zero, where the plagues are originating from and go straight for the source before this thing gets out of control."

"And if we find it are we bringing Soda?"

The brother's glanced at her and both jumped back as they realized she had come up upon them silently, she stood by the table her eyes on Sam's laptop, unmoving.

"What else would we do with her?" Dean asked

"We could get Missouri to look after her?"

Dean thought about it, chewing his lip as he looked at Soda. Her eyes slowly rose to meet his and Dean knew, "No" he said finally, "She needs to be there."

_Dean fell to his knees as the earth beneath him shook, he could not raise his eyes, he no longer had the strength. The wails and screams around him had intensified and the dark, pulsing light of hell was steadily being replaced by a blinding whiteness. Snarls and pleas for help and deliverance were mingling together but Dean couldn't move. Hell was gripping him, a regular beat like the pumping of a heart that held him immobile. He was unable to move against the rhythm, it was pulling him under and he realized that even his few remaining thoughts were moving in time to it. The lights were pushing the rhythm back so that it began to beat in the background and Dean was able to raise his head, he'd never realized how heavy and how controlling the beat had been until it was dulled. A voice screamed for help close to him and Dean raised his eyes to see a glorious light in front of him. He couldn't focus on it and cried out in pain as the light pierced his eyes, burning, it was so much brighter than anything he had seen in forty years. His eyes had become accustomed to the dark. He wilted before the light covering his eyes with his hands trembling with pain but that was nothing to the hand he felt close around his upper arm like a brand. The burn spread through him and Dean was pulled away from himself. If this was in preparation for some further torment he would take it, for the moment at least, there was no pain. He felt something brush against him, feather light, as it mingled with him, coming with him, as he was dragged, dragged away._

Dean jerked awake, blinking sleep and sweat out of his eyes. Slowly he stretched out his arms and back, blinking at the red lines on his arms from where his head had been resting on them. He yawned widely and glanced around the dim motel room. Soda was curled up in the corner, she always slept on the floor and the brothers hadn't yet managed to convince her to sleep in a bed. Sam was sprawled out fully clothed on the far bed, printed sheets of paper littering the bed and the floor around him. Dean yawned and climbed stiffly to his feet, falling asleep at the table? Not a good idea. He grabbed his jacket off the back of one of the chairs and silently moved towards the door. The night was cool and he stood in the car park closing his eyes as the cold and the silence enveloped him. Silence, it was the dead silence in the middle of the night that enticed him out into the streets.

"Hello Dean" a soft voice said and his shoulders slumped, so much for that.

"Nice of you to turn up again" Dean snapped without turning around or opening his eyes, "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you" Anna said gently stepping up beside him. At last Dean opened his eyes and turned to look at her. She did not look exactly like she had done when she was human, there were subtle differences but he could still see that same girl surviving among the tweaked features, but she wasn't the same. He could feel the change as easily as he could see it; she was no longer warm, open and human. She had her grace back, she was an angel and she was as detached and expressionless as the others.

"I haven't seen you since the night we helped you get your grace back but you just thought you'd pop in for a chat?" Dean said raising an eyebrow as he turned away to move over to the impala, leaning against the hood.

"I know what the others aren't telling you" Anna replied ignoring the jibe as she followed him but stopped before she reached him standing a few steps away.

"About?"

"The soul"

Dean paused frowning at the angel, "What about her?"

"The angels do not wish you to know" Anna glanced up uneasily at the sky "but I think you should."

Dean's eyes flicked up to the empty sky "They don't know you're here do they?"

Anna smiled and a twinge of sadness touched Dean's heart, it wasn't the same smile, it wasn't even close. "They never know where I am or I am sure they would have tried to rid themselves of me but I can still hear them and I spoke to Castiel he-"Anna's voice faltered, "He does not like deceiving you Dean."

"I'm sure he doesn't" Dean replied sarcastically.

"I think he let me hear so much on purpose in the hopes that I would tell you what I had heard."

"And what did you hear?" Dean asked folding his arms while he watched the angel carefully.

"They know what part the soul with play" Anna said her voice almost sad.

"I know they know" Dean said simply "Feel like letting me in?"

"To stop the seal from breaking it requires the pure soul from which the blood ran when the first seal broke. The Angels have been searching for the soul since they found out but only recently did they realize that the soul had escaped hell on its own." Anna hesitated, "They didn't know that the soul would be so damaged and thin, they are afraid it won't be enough."

"Then find another" Dean said through gritted teeth a sick feeling of apprehension coursing through him.

"It can be no other" Anna answered "but Dean there's more. There's a chance that what she will have to do will completely destroy her soul."

The blood drained from Dean's face as he tried to swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. "Her soul?"

Anna nodded her eyes wide with pity "It wont be death Dean, it will be the end. She won't exist anywhere anymore."

_(hopefully will have more up soon. please review! and thanks for reading xoxo)_


	8. Chapter 8

"What will she have to do?" Dean stammered still reeling from Anna's revelation.

"That I truly don't know Dean" Anna replied gently "I don't know everything, not by a long shot, but I do know that there is no way to avoid this. Either she does it or the seal breaks."

"Well then let it break" Dean yelled turning away from her, "There are others we can save; the demons can have this one."

Anna didn't move a muscle but he could feel pity emanating from her and it only made him angrier, "You don't really mean that Dean" she said softly.

"Don't I?" Dean said whirling back to face her and moving closer so that he towered over her, "Don't you think we haven't given enough? Don't you think Soda hasn't suffered enough? It's not fair to make her do this!"

"No one is making her do anything Dean" Anna replied calmly, "She has a choice, just as everyone does."

"This isn't a choice Anna" Dean growled back "This is a destroy yourself or let thousands of people die and help Lucifer be one step closer to walking free."

"I know it isn't fair" Anna stepped back away from him, her voice almost bitter, "Nothing is ever fair, technically to you humans it doesn't even exist, except in your imaginations."

She turned away but Dean reached out a hand to grab her arm, "Anna, please help me!" It was as close as he had ever come to begging, the only time he had truly begged was when he was asking the cross-roads demon to bring Sam back and he wasn't far off that now. "There has to be something I can do, you don't understand, you don't know what I've done to her!" Anguish twisted his features and he felt tears rising but angrily forced them down before Anna could see them in his eyes, "Help me."

"I will try and help you Dean" Anna said quietly placing a hand gently on his cheek, so similar and yet so different, "I'm just not sure there is anything I can do." She pulled her hand back and turned away disappearing in the night leaving Dean alone in the silent darkness. Just the way he liked it.

He was lying on his back in the middle of the half empty lot when he heard a slight noise to his left. He had no idea how long he had been lying there staring up at the stars, struggling to comprehend what he had been told. No wonder Castiel hadn't been able to look him in the eyes when he'd asked about Soda. He turned his head slightly to the source of the noise, starting slightly when he saw Soda sitting on the ground next to him. He hadn't even heard her approach.

"Deen sad?" Soda said quietly looking down on him with her head tilted to the side a curious expression on her face.

Dean nodded but didn't reply his eyes flicking back up to the night sky.

"Why?"

Dean sat up slowly in surprise; he hadn't taught her that word. "I am sad for a friend, do you know that word? Friend?"

Soda nodded enthusiastically "Deen an Soda frend?" she asked her head falling to the side again this time questioningly.

Dean laughed, "Yes Dean and Soda are friends." He frowned, "Soda how do you know this? How do you know how to speak?"

Her brow furrowed in thought for a moment until comprehension dawned over her face and she smiled "telee-vision."

At last Dean understood, she had not been watching the television vividly because of the pictures, she had been learning. She turned away from him rolling fluidly into a crouch her hands bracing her against the ground as she squatted on the balls of her feet. Dean hauled himself to his feet watching as she leant closer to the ground peering into the darkness beneath the impala which rested a few feet away. Dean smiled, though she was learning she still reminded him more of wild animal than a woman. A young, curious and beautiful animal perhaps but an animal nonetheless. His smile slipped from his face as though the strings had been cut, how could he let her be destroyed? He owed her more than that, far more than that. For a reason that he couldn't fathom he felt protective of her, almost as protective as he felt for his brother, there had to be another way, there was always another way. Soda hissed and Dean glanced at the car just as large dark shape leapt out. Dean jerked back before he could help himself then laughed out loud when the dim light from the walkway outside the motel rooms fell on a large frog. Soda had stopped hissing and was watching the frog with fascination as it jumped away landing with a soft, wet thwack on the tar with each bound.

"Frog" Dean said still laughing as he took Soda's arm and pulled her to her feet. Soda turned to look at him but her eyes fell over his shoulders and Dean turned around as he heard a faint sound almost like a shower of raindrops steadily growing nearer and louder. Dean squinted through the darkness struggling to focus his eyes for it seemed as though the road was moving. The sound was growing louder and suddenly Dean saw it for what it was, frogs, thousands and thousands of frogs, leaping down the road, covering trees and cars. Dean grabbed Soda's arm and began dragging her towards the motel room as the frogs overtook them, scattering around their feet and landing with solid thumps on their legs, back and heads. Dean pushed the motel door open and he and Soda fell inside pushing the door closed behind them. Wet thumps hit the door and the windows and Dean got to his feet ignoring the six or so frogs that had gotten inside with them.

"Dean?" Sam yawned sitting up straight with a jerk, "Was goin' on?"

"Second plagues here Sammy" Dean replied shuddering as he brushed his hands over his body flicking off any frogs that were on him, "There are bloody frogs everywhere!"

Soda was still sitting on the floor where she had fallen grinning as she held a frog in her hands, "Frog?"

"Yeah Soda, frog" Dean muttered distractedly striding towards the window and glancing out into the night, frogs were covering everything, like a slimy, moving, breathing carpet. "Now what do we do Sam?"

"Wait it out I guess" Sam replied doubtfully rubbing his eyes sleepily with both hands before glancing out the window, an odd mixture of apprehension and interest on his face. "If it is following along the same lines as the story in the bible then hopefully they should all be dead by tomorrow."

"Great" Dean sighed, "Then we only have to wade through thousands of _dead _frogs and we still have no idea who is doing this."

"Pharen" Soda said suddenly from the floor. She had put the frog down and was touching it repeatedly on the back making it jump forward. Before it could get too far away she would catch it and bring it back to start again.

"Wait, what did you say?" Sam asked looking all of a sudden wide awake.

Soda didn't look up as she grinned down at the frog, "Pharen" she said again.

Dean looked non-pulsed and raised an eyebrow at Sam, "That mean anything to you?"

"Not exactly" Sam said slowly turning back to the bed, "Think it could be a name?"

"And how would she know that?"

Sam shrugged glancing over his shoulder at Soda thoughtfully, "Who knows what she really knows."

Dean knelt down in front of Soda ignoring the frogs surrounding her, "Soda" he said slowly waiting for her to look at him. "What is Pharen? Is it a name?"

She simply looked back at him without answering a frog jumping clear of her hands.

"Pharen? What is Pharen?"

This time she shook her head and Dean sighed heavily, "She doesn't know Sam."

"I think I might know" Sam said slowly turning around a few sheets of paper held tightly in his hands.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well I was starting to think last night…or tonight that maybe it's not demons but an artifact or artifacts that have been turned on or opened and that's what's causing the plagues."

"Bit of jump but okay" Dean replied getting to his feet and craning his neck to try and see the pieces of paper in his brother's hand.

"So I was digging up some information about the museums in the area and there are five with Egyptian exhibits and I think that'll be our best bet."

"Five?" Dean asked raising an eyebrow "We have to try and scope out five whole museums not taking into account the amount of security they have on places like that?"

"Well we were going to check out five" Sam said handing one piece of paper to Dean. "Until now that is, check out the name of the curator at this one."

Dean scanned the paper it was part of a short article proclaiming a new curator, "Ken Pharen" Dean said looking surprised, "Became curator of the Egyptian exhibit three days ago.'

"Exactly. We can go during open hours and check out the exhibit, see if this Pharen guy is legit and if we find anything worth checking out then we can figure how to get in after hours, maybe the angels might actually give us a hand."

"Okay, tomorrow we'll go to the museum" Dean's disgruntled expression contradicted his light tone and Sam laughed as he put the sheets on the bed side table.

"Those are six words I never thought I'd hear you say" Sam said with a grin sitting on the bed and falling back on his pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean opened the door his lip curling in disgust as he eyed the frog covered ground. Not one single frog was still moving and they covered everything. Not one single frog was still moving and they covered everything. Dean kept one hand closed around Soda's upper arm to prevent her wandering off, her fascination with the frogs had apparently not ended with their deaths.

"How are we going to get out?" Sam muttered doing his best not to stand on a frog.

"Drive out?" Dean replied raising an eyebrow and wondering if it was a trick question.

"We're just going to drive over the top of them?"

Dean shrugged "Why not? They're frogs Sam and they're dead, i'm sure they won't mind." Despite his casual words he couldn't help suppressing winces as the tires found frog after frog, the squelching noise beginning to make him feel uneasy. A quick glance to his right told him that Sam wasn't faring any better. Soda on the other hand didn't seem to mind at all, her attention was directed out of the car at the frog covered scenery. Eventually the frogs began to grow thinner and before long there were barely any in sight.

When the reached the next town over Dean pulled into a parking space directly outside a overly decorated diner. "Don't know about you but I am starving!" Dean proclaimed grinning at his brother before sliding out of the car, Sam and Soda following. He was interested to see the change in Soda towards Sam after two nights and a day couped up in a room together and due to Sam's relentless patience. Though she was still wary of him she no longer avoided him and even had begun to speak with him aswell as Dean though she would still not allow him near enough to touch her.

Dean pushed the door open and paused his eyes sweeping once over the room. "Hey Sammy what was that third plague again?"

"Gnats, lice or fleas" Sam replied slowly "The translation has never been settled."

The occupants of the diner were in obvious distress as the trio watched. Every single one was scratching and Dean winced as he watched a man pick up a fork and scratch vigorously at his head blood beginning to seep through his hair.

"You know what" Dean muttered backing up "Suddenly not hungry."

They hurried back to the car but Dean paused with his hand resting on the door. "Do you hear a buzzing?" he asked suddenly straining his hearing, he thought he could hear a low faint hum. His eyes followed Soda's line of sight. Four flies were crawling over the windscreen of the car next to theirs more coming ever second.

"You've got to be kidding me" Dean yelled as the buzzing grew louder "The plagues are doubling up now?" Quickly the three dived into the car slamming the doors closed behind them as flies began to grow thick in the air. "Sam this is getting out of control, we're gonna be running out of plagues pretty soon" he said angrily "Any ideas?"

"We need to get to that museum" Sam answered concern crossing his features.

"Ah yeah about that" Dean gestured at the darkened windscreen. They were silent for a second and Dean heard a muffled whimper from the back. He glanced around at Soda who was huddled in the back, her knees were drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her dark eyes were wide as they flicked from one darkened window to another, the buzzing had settled into a steady deafening drone and she closed her eyes visibly trembling from head to foot. She looked just as terrified as she had done when she had been mesmerised by the funeral fire. She was afraid of fire, fire and suffocating darkness.

"Right that's it" Dean muttered firmly and twisted the key until the engine caught. He put it in reverse and flicked on the windscreen wipers spraying the glass with water first causing the flies to scatter it a great dark cloud. The wipers kept them from settling and Dean began to move not caring in what direction as long as they were moving, as long as the flies couldn't completely cover them. As with the frogs the longer they kept driving the thinner the plague grew until just beyond the town outskirts the flies grew thin enough for Dean to turn off the windscreen wipers.

"It's okay Soda" Dean said over his shoulder as she straightened up her wide eyes still darting in every direction, "It's okay, nothing's going to get you." As he said it his inside's twisted with guilt as he couldn't help wondering if that was going to turn out to be true.

"You understand what I am saying?" Dean said for the hundreth time standing in the gap of the open car door preventing Soda from getting out. "You stay right behind me, you don't say or do anything unless I tell you? Don't. Get. Noticed."

Soda nodded solemnly and when Dean stepped back she didn't leap out of the car like she usually did but stood slowly copying Sam and Dean's movements so perfectly that the brothers smiled at each other. They turned to walk up the large steps that led to the musuem. It was housed in a great old three storied building with actual thick columns out the front on either side of the front steps.

A smiling woman stood just inside the door with a pamphlets in her hands. Her eyes travelled over the lengths of both brothers as her smile widened slightly. She tried to catch Dean's eye as she moved to intercept but Dean barely glanced at her as he took the pamphlet she offered him half smiling his thanks before striding on, leaving her looking crestfallen behind him. Dean flicked the pamphlet over finding a map of the museum on the back, "Second floor" he muttered to Sam leading the way down a large marble floored corridor to the right. Sam's eyes took in everything as they passed and he often showed signs of wanting to go into the large galleries they were passing but Dean refused to stop. The sooner they got in, found what they needed to and got out, the happier he would be. On the second floor they walked through wide open double doors into a long dimly lit gallery. Along the walls and throughout the centre of the large room were glass cases filled with artifacts of all shapes and sizes and all lit with a soft golden light that gave the dim room an unearthly feeling. The room was quiet the few occupants speaking in soft whispers to each other as they examined the display.

"How the hell do we know if we find what we're looking for?" Dean hissed "We don't even know what it is!"

"I'm kinda hoping we'll know it when we see it" Sam replied quietly so that the couple passing them in the opposite direction couldn't hear.

"Alright, fan out" Dean muttered and they split up each taking a wall, pulling EMF detectors out of their jackets when no one was around on the off chance it could pick something up. True to her word Soda stayed right behind Dean not saying a word and remaining in his shadow though her wide eyes were darting from artifact to artifact. Towards the end of the room there was a small raised platform on which a large gold disc held pride of place on a pedestal. A couple was standing close by gazing at it with fascination as Dean and Soda drew closer. The small mousy looking woman glanced up at them as Dean stopped, hiding his irritation at their presence for he couldn't examine the thing properly with them standing there. He felt Soda pressed up against his side and almost turned around to tell her she didn't need to stand that close when he heard a soft hiss in his ear. He slowly turned, looking down on her but her dark eyes were on the couple standing only a few feet to the right.

"What is it?" Dean breathed leaning down slightly to reach her ear.

"Dark eye" Soda replied in her unmistakable voice though it was tainted now with anger and hate. Dean still didn't know how Soda seemed able to sense the presence of a demon but he didn't doubt her. Taking her arm he lead her away making a great show of examining each display with an air of great interest before they ran into Sam still making his slow way up the gallery.

"Demons" Dean whispered "Two o'clock, this is the right place."

"Do you know what is causing it?"

"Gold disc at the end of the room, they're guarding it."

Sam nodded and hesitated, "I need to get a look at it so I can see what we're dealing with" he said at last and continued to walk to the end of the room. He was glancing about him with great interest and stopped at the disc, the two demons were watching him closely and from here Dean couldn't believe he had missed what they were. They hadn't moved a muscle and the male's eyes were trained once more on the disc and the woman was watching Sam as he pulled out his phone. Sam quickly took a photo and continued walking on calmly his attention drifting to the display by the second set of double doors before he left the gallery. Dean was watching the demons, both their eyes had gone black as they watched Sam leave the room. He watched ready for anything but the demons didn't leave their post. Dean and Soda quickly walked towards the doors they had entered through meeting Sam as he returned along the outside corridor.

A man in a security guard uniform was coming along the corridor at the opposite end and Dean didn't need Soda's snarl to warn him.

"Time to leave?" he asked Sam brightly as they set a quick pace back the way they had come, mingling with the crowds of innocents and hidden demons.

"I think so."

The trio moved swiftly down the front steps onto the sunlit busy street. Dean scowled when he saw two figures standing by the impala one leaning against the hood.

"Can I help you?" Dean scowled striding straight up to them and stopping when he recognised them. Castiel turned around as Anna quickly stood up glancing at Soda who was still hovering by Dean's shoulder.

"Hello Dean" Castiel said calmly and Dean saw red. He leapt forward balling his fists up in Castiel's collar slamming him back against the impala. "Dean-" Castiel began but Dean shook him angrily tightening his hold so that Castiel choked. Dean knew that Castiel could throw him off at any moment but he didn't care.

"How could you not tell me the truth?" Dean snarled, "Don't you dare show up here and act like nothing has changed!"

"I'm sorry De-" Castiel began but Dean shook him again and once more slammed him hard against the unforgiving metal.

"Don't give me that bullshit Cas, you're not sorry" Dean snapped "You don't know how to be." He was slightly alarmed at how close he was to losing it, how much he wanted to hurt the angel in front of him. Dean hesitated a second longer before slowly releasing Castiel's shirt and turning away with difficulty. "Why are you here?" he said through gritted teeth, "And together? Aren't you meant to not be on speaking terms."

The two angels glanced at each other, "We've called a truce for the moment" Anna said gently "We've come to help you Dean."

"That'd be a first" Dean said bitterly "You've come to help me stop the seal from being broken, haven't you Cas?"

Castiel had lowered his eyes but now he raised them meeting Dean's with a sad expression on his grim face, he knew what Dean was driving at, "Yes."

Dean nodded, "Sam?" he waved a hand in the direction of the angels and folded his arms.

"We think we've found what's causing the plagues" Sam said bringing the photo up on his phone and handing it to the angels, "It's on the second floor surrounded by demons."

Anna's jaw dropped as she glanced at the picture handing the phone quickly to Castiel. He frowned as he examined it but otherwise didn't react.

"It is as we thought" Castiel murmured, "The Pharaoh's Disc."

"The what?" Sam asked, "I've never heard of it."

"Of course you haven't" Castiel replied handing the phone back, "You humans are not even aware of what you have."

"Feel like sharing or do you just want to keep being an ass" Dean said coldly. His hands balled into fists when he saw the angels eyes narrow, he almost wanted Cas to attack him.

"The disc was created after my father sent the last plague. It was made to be a warning, a reminder of the might of our Lord and of the punishment that was delivered to those who defied him."

"The plagues were scribed upon the golden disc and it was divided into ten segments" Anna continued "Within each segment an element of each plague was placed beneath the gold and upon completion it was discovered that the disc can not be destroyed, not even angels can do this."

"The demons have released the elements contained within the disc" Castiel said quietly "They have begun the reaction that will end with the breaking of a seal if the disc is not destroyed before hand."

"But you said that the disc can not be destroyed" Sam protested.

"That is what we have previously thought" Castiel replied and Soda shifted uncomfortably sinking closer into Dean as the angels fixed her with their piercing eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

"So what's the plan?" Sam asked flicking his gaze from angel to angel who had still yet to look away from Soda.

"We can not get close to the disc" Castiel replied, "They have-"

"Angel proofed?" Dean offered when Castiel hesitated.

"In a manner of speaking" Anna said smiling humorlessly "We can take care of the demons in the museum and get you into the room but you will have to deal with the demons there."

"All you have to do is get the soul close enough to the disc to be able to place her hands on it" Castiel added.

"We believe that whatever action Soda will be required to perform will then be able to take place of its own accord" Anna finished. Dean looked at first one angel then the other for the first time since Anna's return noticing that there was a difference between them. Where Castiel had begun to stop calling Soda 'it' only Anna referred to her by her name.

"So then we just sit back, relax and knock back a few cocktails while Soda dies?" Dean scowled "While she destroys her soul?"

"There are no other options" Castiel replied, "I know you wont believe me but I am sorry Dean."

Dean scowled at the angel but didn't answer. For the first time he almost felt like he actually believed the angel. Almost.

"I must return, Michael and Gabriel will be awaiting my report" Castiel said after a moment, "I believe you should come." Anna didn't answer for a second as she fixed him with a piercing stare as though she was trying to read his true intent in his eyes.

"It may be best" Anna sighed at last, "Do nothing until we return," this she directed mostly at Dean before the angles disappeared with a blink.

Dean, Soda and Sam glanced around at the sound of a scream. A horse float was swaying dangerously as the driver quickly braked opening his door with a frantic expression. A horse trumpeted its protest as its hind legs landed securely on the closed float bending the hinges out of shape with the force of the blow. Two horses eventually broke free their coats cut and bleeding from the battering they had received in trying to escape. They whinnied wildly their eyes showing white as they bulged from the sides of their heads. They staggered, their breath wheezing in their barrel chests as they fought with the air and tore at their coats with their teeth. Yellow foam and mucus was streaming from their nostrils as the horses fell weakily to their knees.

"Someone call a vet" the owner yelled desperately running forward to his stricken horses as they fell gasping and choking in the road.

"Plague number five" Sam murmured wincing as he watched the horses weakly struggle for breath through the suffocating mucus. He turned away looking rather pale "I'm going to go see what I can find out about this Pharaoh's disc" he muttered and Dean nodded, "meet you back at the motel." Sam walked away but Dean and Soda remained where they were, Dean's hand on her shoulder to prevent her fighting her way through the crowd to reach the struggling horses.

"Isn't that just heartbreaking" a light childish voice said behind them. The pair spun around to see a young girl about ten years old giggling as she eyed the dieing horses. Her eyes shifted to take in Dean and Soda and she grinned widely her eyes turning white.

"Lilith" Dean snarled clenching his hands tightly in to fists hate was clouding his vision as he looked at the little girl housing a demon he hated even above Alistair.

"Hello Dean" she said cheerfully, "You've found a new friend, oh goody, I do love new friends!" Soda snarled as Lilith studied her, "I remember you silly" she laughed "But you don't remember me." The pretty little face pouted as she seemed to ponder the problem, "Well we'll just have to fix that then wont we."

"Like hell you will" Dean hissed pushing Soda behind him, "You arn't going to lay a disgusting finger on her."

"Now now manners" Lilith said wagging a finger at him, "You don't want to make me mad, i'm trying to help you." She waved a hand and Dean flew sideways slamming into the side of the impala before landing in the gutter groaning. With the same hand she pulled Soda towards her allowing her to slide the last few feet painfully on the ground until she came to rest at her feet. Dean angrily struggled to get to his feet hoping to get Lilith back from Soda but Lilith's eyes flicked to his as she smiling shook her head. "Not smart Dean" she said brightly as four demons stepped out of the crowd gathered around the horses and moved over to stand around them. "No need for this to end badly" Lilith's little girl voice said softly "We can all be friends, can't we Dean?" She looked down on Soda who was slowly rolling over to try and get to her feet, "After all i'm just trying to give my favourite friend back her memories, we did have so much fun together." Lilith watched Soda get to her knees and quickly snaked a small hand out to grip her by the throat. The demon gave the little body such great strength that Soda couldn't shake her off and Lilith tightened her hold so that Soda was choking for breath. Lilith pulled Soda's face closer to hers her eyes beginning to glow a brighter white. Dean stood and stepped forward but Lilith threw out her spare hand without even looking at him and Dean was thrown back on the ground his back pressed against the impala door unable to move. Soda's eyes were beginning to reflect the light glowing in Lilith's as they widened in horror. She screamed in agony her eyes rolling back into her head as the light spread between the two. Dean yelled struggling hopelessly against the invisible restraints as Lilith began to giggle, the sound contrasting menacingly with Soda's screams. Despair was filling Dean, there were crowds of people on the other side of the street, surely one of them would see? Surely one of them would hear? But what could they do?

Suddenly the light faded and Lilith was thrown backwards as she dropped Soda to the cement. Dean felt the restraining pressure on him lift and immediately climbed to his feet looking around for the closest demon but the four surrounding them were gone. Sam was running towards him his eyes flicking around warily, ready for anything, but Lilith was no where in sight.

"What happened?" Sam shouted as Dean fell to his knees beside a motionless Soda.

"Lilith" Dean said anger and concern shaking his voice as he gripped Soda's shoulders and turned her over, "She did something to Soda, her eyes were glowing."

Sam knelt down next to him as he shook Soda's shoulders. She remained still her eyes closed, her face pale and slack.

"Soda?" Dean called shaking her again, "Hey come on Soda, wake up."

Her eyes blinked but didn't open and she drew in a great shuddering breath, Dean could feel her limbs shaking beneath his hands. "What did she do to her?" he asked looking up at Sam anxiously but Sam merely shrugged looking shaken.

"I have no idea."

Slowly Soda's eyes opened and Dean was startled to see that the almost black eyes had lightened considerably though they were clouded with pain. He eased an arm around her shoulders and supporting her head lifted her gently into an almost sitting position. "Soda, it's okay, can you hear me?"

She blinked looking dazed and winced as though he had shouted. Her pain filled eyes fell on his face and sweat broke out on her forehead as she scrambled back away from him breaking free from his hold. Even weak as she was she was stronger than him. Dean held up his hands non-threateningly "It's okay" he said softly but Soda was backing away. Suddenly a sick feeling washed through him and he felt cold, he could see it now, how could he have missed it? Soda knew, she remembered. Lilith had given a stolen part of Soda back and with it had come the memories of Dean. "Soda" he whispered hoarsly but she was shaking her head as she backed up her eyes cold with fear and hate.

"Stay away from me" Soda hissed as Dean and Sam both got slowly to their feet.

"Soda" Dean said again stepping towards her hesitantly.

"No" Soda whispered her eyes filling with tears, "Not you Dean, it can't have been you."

"It was" he said quietly his face twisted with grief and remorse, "I'm so sorry." He winced as he saw the hate, anger and pain flare in her face.

"Never speak to me" Soda snarled her hands clenched so tightly into fists that her knuckles had turned white. Dean didn't move, she was so close to attacking him, he could see it in her eyes, the need to cause him pain. He wouldn't fight her. She hesitated and without another word she turned and ran, disappearing from sight.

"Dean?" Sam asked placing a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. Dean angrily shook his hand off tearing his eyes away from the corner around which Soda had disappeared and stalked towards the impala. He didn't speak to Sam and Sam didn't say anything more as the impala tore out into the road, the wheels screeching in protest. Anger was threading through him, not at Soda, but at himself. Had he really expected anything different? What had he thought would happen if Soda remembered what he had done? Had he really thought she would forgive him, that she would understand why he had done it?

"Hey Dean?" Sam said speaking for the first time as Dean sped down the road not particularly caring in what direction he was headed or how fast.

When Dean didn't answer Sam continued looking hesitant, "What do we do now? How are we going to stop the seal from breaking if we don't have Soda anymore?"

Dean finally understood, they had been recognised in the museum and Lilith had immediately known what they were there for and she had reacted. She'd taken away the only weapon they had, the only thing that would have ensured them a victory and now Soda was alone. Defenceless. And Dean was once more knocking on death's door.


	11. Chapter 11

_She heaved in a gasping breath that consisted of nothing but searing heat and choking smoke. Her lungs rebelled but she held the air grimly within her ignoring the pain, all too soon it would become insignificant. Heavy chains were being looped around her wrists, tightly pinching the skin and as they were dragged above her head she felt warm blood running down her bare arms. She bit her lip as her weight was pulled off the ground and rested on her wrists and shoulders, her toes barely scraping the staining red earth under her feet. Her breath began to come quicker as she closed her eyes tightly trying to ignore the shadow approaching. Desperately she sought to hold onto something, anything, but so much was gone. Great gaping holes of darkness were all that remained in her memory and every second they were being refilled with blood, pain and fire. For a second there was a face, the most beautiful face she had ever seen, the baby girl smiled and she smiled with her. Somewhere, far away, that face lived still, whoever she was she was important and the knowledge the child lived gave her strength. She opened her eyes seeing her nameless body dangling from the chains as she lifted them to the demon before her. She gasped and flinched back but was too late as the white hot brand was pressed into her eye. The face fled her mind, the last memory, the strongest, removed at last. Her scream of agony almost tore her throat, but death was unknown and unconsciousness merely a long forgotten dream._

Soda staggered down the dark alley her hands gripping the sides of her head as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Stop" she moaned out loud falling against a brick wall, "please stop!" But the images wouldn't leave as the pain and despair once blissfully forgotten flooded through her as though a damn had broken. Clutching her chest as sobs threatened to shake it she fell to her knees.

_The sounds of hell thumped painfully through her mind, the screams, the groans, the crackle of greedy flames, the merciless chuckles and taunts of the tortureres. She longed to cover her ears but her broken arms hung uselessly at her sides as she was dragged by the hair. It wouldn't make a difference anyway, no aspect of hell could be denied it thumped inside you like a pulse. She was lifted and thrown roughly against the rack, how familiar it was against her back, had she ever known anything before this? Her arms were strapped into place and as the straps were tightened she felt the bone move beneath the skin before it punctured through. She couldn't bite back the cry of pain as she struggled to regain the breath she had lost. She heard something move infront of her and raised her head uselessly. What could she see without eyes? But she didn't need to see the torturer stepping closer, she knew only too well what they would do, it was all she had known. It had never begun and it would never end, it simply was. A wave of heat passed her bare stomach and as a reflex she tried to sink back away from it but there was no where to go. She heard an intake of breath in front of her and knew who stood infront of her, the soul, the soul who had taken himself off the rack and put others on in his place. The soul who had transferred his pain to her. She raised her head defiantly and snarled, baring her teeth through bloody lips. If she had to endure an enternity of torment this at least she would swear. Even if she was nameless, empty and broken this she would hold. She would see this soul before her bleed, for every cut, for every burn, for every slice, he would bleed. She screamed as he pressed the brand into her, smelling her flesh burn as he pushed it deeper. Her promise remained at the forefront of her mind like a great flame in a pool of darkness. He would bleed._

Soda was shivering, her jacket pulled tightly around her as she hugged herself as though trying to hold herself together. She stood shakily and looked down at the jacket Dean had himself pulled around her. Dean, the soul, the torturer, it couldn't be true! But it was and he knew that aswell as she did, he had known who she was all along. "He helped you" she whispered through trembling lips. He tortured you! her mind snarled back and another tear broke free. Her teeth gritted and she ripped the jacket from her back throwing it as far from her as she could into the darkness. She walked on unsure where she was going for where was she meant to go? She was empty of everything but pain and despair, flashes of memories may be returning but she was still an empty shell. She had no idea who she was other than that she had once lived in the human world, but that had been countless years ago, hell was all she knew, hell was all she had left. Her memories since leaving were hazy. Memories of hunger, fear, anger and confusion combined together to whirl sickenly in her mind as she tried to focus. She had been lost and disorientated and then he had found her. He had given her food, he had taught her, he had protected her and she had clung blindely to that not knowing the truth. She would give anything to have that blissfull floating absence back.

"_Deen an Soda frend?"_

"_Yeah, Dean and Soda are friends."_

Violent anger surged up in her so strongly she had to fight the urge to be sick as she pushed the memory away, suppressing it amongst the burning images of hell. She no longer could see where she was walking, her thoughts were spinning and her tears had blurred her sight. Surely she must still be in some form of hell, how could they have given her the very thing she needed and then taken him away? Why did she have to remember what he had done? Why did she have to remember what she could not forgive? "Surely it is better to know" she whispered almost silently and in her mind she saw him again. His face twisting with anguish and guilt as he stood so still before her, how she had longed to tear him apart! But she hadn't. Before her she could see the torturer, the soul whose eyes had flashed with pleasure when she screamed but she could also see mingled with him the man who had befriended her, helped her. Without realising she was doing it Soda was running, her breath was pulling painfully in her chest, her legs were burning but she was beyond pain. She just wanted to run and run until it stopped, until everything stopped, surely if she ran fast enough, if she ran far enough?

At last she fell sobbing for air into the cool grass of the park, squelching into the rain soaked ground. Her hair darkened by rain lay splayed across her face but she didn't push it off. She closed her eyes are more memories arrived bringing with them more hurt, more pain. She gripped her head with her hands pulling at her hair in anguish, why wouldn't it stop?

"I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER!" she screamed to the dark, rain soaked night, her throat burning in protest. She sat up, her wet, ice cold limbs shaking violently. The torturer would suffer for what he had done and then she would be done with it all and she would never look back. She would begin again, choose a new name, wipe the slate clean, forget the pain, forget the madness, forget him. But first he must bleed.

Dean slammed the bathroom door closed with a bang the echoed through the tiny room causing Sam to jump violently out of sleep. "Where are the dam angels?" Dean snarled kicking the mattress angrily as he passed, "They should have been back hours ago! They could have been looking for Soda."

"They won't find her man" Sam muttered rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he uneasily watched his brother pace, "Remember they came to you in the first place because they couldn't find her."

Dean sighed and seemed to deflate as he sank into a chair placing his elbow on the table and burying his face in his hand. "Did you see the way she looked at me?" he whispered and his voice was so distraught that Sam didn't want to see his face, "Did you see how much she hates me?"

"She spent over a thousand years in hell Dean" Sam said gently "Who knows what memories she has now." The brothers fell silent. Dean didn't move and Sam didn't press him.

Dean kept his eyes tightly closed but in the darkness he could see flames and in the silence he could hear screams. Forty years. . .it had seemed so long. . .a lifetime and yet now he knew he had barely scratched the surface of hell. What was forty years compared to over a thousand years of torment? He felt a shiver run down his spine as he recalled Soda's eyes when she had seen him, there had been anger, pain, hate and fear yes but there had been madness there aswell. Whatever memories were returning to her were driving her insane, recalling the madness that her years of torture would have instilled in her. He had to find her. Dean stood and kicked his chair back away from the table, it flew across the room and crashed into the wall. Sam jumped but Dean ignored him throwing his jacket around his shoulders, "Call me if the angels show" Dean muttered wrenching the door open.

"Dean" Sam called jumping up "You'll only find Soda if she wants to be found and if she lets you find her I am willing to bet that it wont end well."

Dean froze in the doorway his hand tight around the door handle paused in the action of pulling it closed behind him, "I've gotta try Sammy" he whispered and left Sam alone in the middle of the dim silent room with the firm click of the door.

Dean lost track of how long he had been walking the darkened rain washed streets. His hands were pushed firmly into his deep pockets, one hand closed around a flask of holy water and the other gripping the demon killing knife. Since being attacked with Soda by the three errand boys he had been carrying it with him on every night venture. Like he should have been doing all along but he had been so preoccupied with his own misery that he'd been letting the little things, which should have been second nature, slide. His eyes searched out every shadow, Lilith and her minions were in town ensuring the plagues continued and the next seal was broken, they would be searching for Soda or Sam or himself and he was ready. Let them come.

"Where's your friend?" a voice asked and Dean stopped a slow satisfied smile spreading across his face. He turned slowly to see the two demons standing behind him in the road. One was a tall man with a gaunt face and sunken dark eyes. The other, the one who had spoken, was a slender woman with flame red hair and red lips.

"About time a few of you turned up" Dean replied tightening his grip on the hilt of Ruby's knife, "In fact i've been waiting."

"Oh really" the red haired demon said slowly as she took a step towards him, her red dress darker than blood in the shadows, "Now why would you be waiting for us Dean? Not that anxious to die again are you?"

"Maybe not to die" Dean admitted, "But I have been itching to see a few of _you_ bastards die." He smiled pleasantly as the red haired demon scowled her smile dropping from her face. "Come on then bitch" Dean taunted pulling his hands from his pocket, the knife gripped in his right hand and the flask in his left. The demons leapt forward and Dean quickly swung the flask at the red haired demon coating her with holy water. With a hiss of steam and a cry of pain she fell back and in the same movement Dean dropped a knee ducking under the male demons swinging punch. He came up underneath his arm and slammed the knife home in the demons chest, searching for and finding the heart. He wrenched the knife free and turned to face the red haired demon who had recovered and was reaching out for him her face contorted with rage and her eyes pure black. Dean sensed rather than saw the body behind him hit the ground but it was already pushed from his mind as he traded blows with the remaining demon. Within seconds he had found the opening he needed and with one swift movement her panting breath was cut off in a choking gurgle as she fell twitching to the ground his knife buried to the hilt in her throat.

Dean lazily stretched his shoulders feeling his spine crack before reaching down to pull the blade free wiping it clean on the demons dark red dress. For a second his gaze lingered on the woman's face, somehow not peaceful, even now in death. She'd probably had a family, people who were worried about her, people who were wondering where she was, people who were hoping she was okay, people who would never know what had happened to her. You can't save everyone, Dean thought to himself but he'd never been able to console himself with that truth, it never made him feel better. It was only something he told Sammy on the off chance it might make their life more bearable for his little brother. More and more often these days the host wasn't surviving the joy ride the demons had taken it for, they would exorcise the demon and still lose the innocent. It had been months since a civilian had survived an exorcism.

Dean suddenly felt the unmistakable feeling of someone's eyes on him and slowly he straightened up not turning around. Securing his grip he turned, his wary eyes raking ever shadow, searching for the stare he could feel searing into him. "You know it's not nice to sneak up on people" he said as he completed his turn and his eyes immediately fell on the figure in the shadows. The slender form stepped forward and Dean froze, his breath catching in his throat. She was bedraggled and shivering, her clothes soaked by the earlier downpour but her burning eyes were fixed on his face.

"Soda" Dean breathed his hand dropping to his side, the knife hanging uselessly from his fingertips, "I'm glad you're okay."

Soda didn't say anything as she took a single step out of the shadows allowing the moonlight and distant light of a street light to fall gently on her face. The light created shadows beneath her eyes and they looked like pools of black in a pale face.

"Soda I know you have every reason to hate me for what i've done" Dean said quietly, sadly, "I know there is nothing I can do to ever make it up to you, but please, just let me explain."

"I don't need you to explain" Soda replied her voice cold and Dean felt a pang in his chest, her voice was no longer light, childlike and curious, it was hard and bitter. She had moved closer now and Dean could see her eyes shining out of the black pools the shadows were creating. His chest constricted as he read them. There was more than death in her eyes . . . . but he didn't step back.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean raised himself on trembling arms blinking blood out of his eyes as he tried to focus his wavering vision on the approaching figure. She reached out a hand and closed it around his throat lifting him effortlessly so that the tips of his toes barely scraped the unforgiving ground that had already bruised and scraped what felt like every inch of him.

"Please" he whispered struggling to breathe and knowing with a sick feeling of certainty that she hadn't even begun to squeeze yet.

"Why should I grant you mercy?" Soda hissed, "You never heeded my pleas and you ignored my screams."

"I'm sorry" Dean choked out apologising freely for the first time in his life. "If I could take it back I would." He couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes as he met hers. "What I did down there haunts me every second of every minute of every day and I know that it is nothing to what you suffer and i'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, i'm sorry I was weak and gave in. I'm sorry I caused you pain. I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and change what happened but I can't. I have to live with the knowledge of what I have done and what I have caused. I don't expect you to ever forgive me and I wish there was more I could do but this...this is all I can do."

Soda didn't reply as she examined his face her eyes following a tear as it broke from his control and slid down his cheek mingling with the blood resting there.

"You are truly sorry" she whispered to herself so quietly that he only just caught it. Suddenly she released him and he dropped like a stone to the ground groaning as he hit. He labourously pushed himself into sitting position panting as he tried to control his breathing and wincing as it worked his bruised throat.

He looked over at Soda who was kneeling on the ground a few feet from him, her head dropped forward onto her chest.

"Forgive me Dean" she said softly after a moment and Dean blinked with shock. "I should not have hurt you. I was blaming you for something that wasn't your fault. I know what was done to you, I just didn't care." her eyes closed and her forehead creased as she struggled with her memories, her voice hoarse and breaking as she voiced her thoughts. "It just hurts so much and I thought that if I could hurt one of my torturer's in return it would stop. But it wont stop, it will never stop, I can see that now." She raised her head slowly and watched him as he painfully pulled himself closer to her. "You are not the man you were then, you are stronger than you think. Everybody breaks" her voice trailed away as tears leaked down her cheeks and she looked on a memory he couldn't see, "everybody breaks.."

Dean reached out a tentative hand and laid it on her shoulder. When she didn't pull away he carefully placed his arms around her. He could feel her too thin frame trembling with cold and sobs as she cried into his shoulder. "Why did I have to remember?" she whispered into his shirt and Dean held her tighter his own tears escaping him.

"Because if hell isn't forgetting...it's remembering."

Dean didn't know how much time had passed before at last Soda pulled back from him her face composed but her eyes tortured. He couldn't help shivering as he saw the insanity there and just how close she was to snapping completely.

"Come on" Dean said holding out a hand and pulling her to her feet, "Let's end this, together."

......

Dean stood at the end of the bed looking down on Soda half buried beneath the large bed spread. It had taken some time but at last she was no longer shivering and the blue colour was fading from her lips.

With a sigh he turned away and almost jumped when he saw Castiel standing directly in his path. "A bell Cas" he said weakly, "That's all i'm asking."

The angel almost smiled as he sat down on a park bench and Dean was startled to see they were in a dark park. The motionless playground glistening with dew that was reflecting the moonlight looked earily familiar and Dean recognised it. This was where he had sat with Cas when he'd first told him about Soda.

"I'm dreaming" Dean muttered sitting down next to the angel who didn't respond, it was obvious enough without the need for verbal confirmation.

"What do you want?"

"Unless i'm mistaken you asked for my help" Castiel replied calmly as expressionless as always as he looked at the older Winchester.

"Everyone's been telling me that there is no chance that Soda can remember who she is but I saw Lilith Cas," Dean said earnestly, "She did something to her, brought back memories or something, she can remember hell so what else can she remember?"

"Dean-" Castiel began but Dean cut him off angrily jumping to his feet to pace in front of the angel.

"Don't give me anymore bullshit Cas, i've had about all I can take. Just tell me the truth for once."

Dean spun around to look at the angel again but he was no longer there, the park had vanished and in its place was a completely blank space. Everything around him was a bright white that went on forever in every direction except for the figure standing in front of him.

She was young, only about twenty four, her golden hair curling gently around her pretty face, her bright blue eyes fixed on his.

"Soda?" Dean asked shocked as he looked her over, this must have been what she had looked like as a human. Slender and kind looking, clothed in a simple blue dress that ended just below her knees.

She smiled, "Hello Dean" her voice was gentle and warm.

"Where are we?"

"In your mind, in your dream" she shrugged "Either way it isn't real."

"Then who are you? What are you?"

"I'm not sure" she frowned and Dean realised that her soothing voice had a slight echo as though it was drifting to him from a deep, hollow space. "I'm a memory of sorts, of the human I once was, i'm here to explain why I will never return to the way I was."

"What are you talking about Soda?"

She smiled gently, "First of all, my real name is Chloe."

"Chloe?" Dean muttered his eyes flicking around the white space looking for somewhere to sit, anywhere? He spotted the park bench Cas had vacated, the lone item in all the white and sank down greatfully on it. "What happened to you?"

"You mean how did I end up in hell?"

"Yeah"

Chloe came to sit beside him. "I guess it all started in 1914, my husband went to war, we had only been married a year when he went away. Within six months he was dead and I couldn't handle it. I wasn't strong enough, I thought the pain of losing him would kill me, I wanted it to." Chloe's eyes were a million miles away as she recalled that time from a lost life.

"How did you survive it?" Dean asked quietly.

"I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for my daughter. My baby girl, she was so beautiful." Chloe's face filled with love as she continued to speak, "She was my life, my darling Hannah. But when she was three she got sick, I tried everything, I was desperate. I asked everyone, but no one could do anything. She just got sicker and then just like that . . she was gone. I had been to an old witch woman, most folks just thought she was crazy and harmless but I had spoken to her when Hannah was sick, she knew things. She told me about a demon who you deal with, who would grant your heart's desire. I thought she was rambling but I was so desperate I had to try. My life was Hannah, I didn't have one without her. I called the demon at the cross roads and struck the bargain but it refused to give me the ten years. I could only make a straight trade. It never told why but I didn't hesitate, I wrote my Hannah a letter and slipped it inside her coat, I knew my mother would give it to her one day when she was old enough. I wrote another, explaining to my mother what I had done and begging her to look after my Hannah. And then I was in hell" Chloe's eyes darkened, "That is all there is to it. Even after everything I have been through, I would still make the same choice."

"How long were you down there?" Dean whispered aghast.

Chloe closed her eyes, "One thousand one hundred and twenty eight years."

"Too long" Castiel's voice drifted over them, "She has forgotten who she is, this woman before you no longer remains."

Chloe lowered her head to her chest and their surroundings shimmered morphing back into the moonlit park.

"No" Dean yelled "Not yet, there has to be something we can do."

Chloe faded from sight and Castiel was there once more sitting in the dark.

"I'm sorry Dean, her soul is damaged even if I could there is nothing there to retrieve" Castiel's voice was as sad as Dean had ever heard it. "Even now she carries only limited memories of hell that Lilith has planted within her empty mind and she does not want to remember any more than she has. Given the choice Dean would you not rather forget what you saw and felt in hell? You were there forty years, compared to Chloe, you have no idea what hell is."

Dean closed his eyes wishing he could shut the angel out, all he had asked for was hope and his prayer had been thrown back in his face.

"For now you have a job to do" Castiel reminded him and Dean opened his eyes to the cream ceiling of the motel room.

.....

"Hey Dean you okay?" Sam called over to him from the window, "You've been asleep for ages."

"I'm fine Sammy" Dean replied coldly sitting up and stretching his neck, wincing as it cracked.

"You were talking again" Sam pressed, "Nightmares?"

"You could say that" he glanced over to where Soda was sleeping. Not Soda, he mentally corrected himself, Chloe.

"It is time to act" a voice said and Dean groaned not holding back the scowl on his face as he took in the three newcomers. The blonde angel he recognised as Raphael was standing in the front, flanked by Anna and Castiel, it was he who had spoken. Nearly at his limit with worry over Chloe's fate, the seal that was being broken and Sam's demonic crap Dean wasn't in the mood for the coninued unannounced entrances of the angels.

"Now what?" Dean snapped running a hand through his hair as he stood up to face the three angels.

"Now what?" Raphael repeated mildly, "Has it indeed escaped your attention then that it should be light out by now?"

Startled Dean glanced out the window which was still as black as night, he saw Sam frown and glance down at his watch.

"Woah woah wait" Dean muttered shaking his head more to clear it than to deny what Raphael had said, "Isn't 'darkness' the ninth plague? Haven't we jumped a few?"

"Isn't is amazing what you miss when you are otherwise distracted" Raphael replied his eyes falling with contempt on Chloe.

"Not another one" Dean muttered under his breath suppressing a groan with difficulty, he'd just about had it up to here with all the self-righteous dicks that were calling themselves angels.

"We're on the last sign" Cas said quietly, his brow creasing in what could almost pass as concern as he looked at Dean, "You have to act now."

_(Hey sorry i've disappeared for a while! Been busy but here's the next chapter for those still interested and another will hopefully be on the way soon. As usual, Please review :)_


	13. Chapter 13

"Okay so what?" Dean asked glancing from angel to angel, "Do we have a plan?"

"Get the soul to the disc" Raphael replied calmly as though this included nothing more than a quiet stroll to corner and back, "The disc should be destroyed as soon it lays its hands on it."

"And I assume we're still going with the whole, 'we don't know what it'll do but it'll probably kill her' approach?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"It's the only way Dean" Anna said gently but Dean ignored her.

"How will we get her close enough?" Sam asked tearing his eyes away from the dark window, "The demons will have it guarded heavily, we saw at least three in the five minutes we were there before, plus four more on the outside."

"As Castiel has said, we can not get inside" Raphael answered "Which is why this task has been delegated to you, believe me if I had another choice...."

The angel's voice trailed away leaving the rest of his thought unspoken but Dean didn't need him to finish it. He couldn't help a flash of disappointment flare in his chest. When his mother used to tell him about angels, these bastards were definitely not what he had pictured. Angels are watching over us? What a load of crap, angels couldn't really care less? Now that sounded about right.

"We will clear the perimeter" Cas told them "We can get you inside but from there you are on your own."

"This isn't really ground breaking news Cas" Dean snapped, "So unless you guys have some more information we could use..."

He too left his statement unfinished but clearly implying the door, they could smack their collective arses as hard as they wanted with it.

"We will call you when the time comes, it will not be long" Raphael said coldly, clearly unhappy with the way the mission was unfolding or perhaps simply with the participants, "be ready."

"Can't wait" Dean answered cheerfully flashing the angel a grin who merely scowled in reponse and the three angels vanished.

"I know they're dicks Dean but do you really have to bait them like that?" Sam asked quietly pulling his jacket on.

"Yeah I do" Dean answered easily, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Just getting some air" Sam replied casually, "Just need to clear my head abit."

Dean shook his head as Sam left the room, he didn't by the lame excuse for a second. He waited a moment and went to the door following his brother out into the dark car park. Frowning he looked around but Sam was already out of sight, swearing Dean kicked the tire of the impala. He hesitated his hand on his head as he deliberated, at last with a sigh he decided. Whatever Sam was doing would have to be dealt with later, for now he had more pressing concerns.

Turning he walked back to the hotel room slipping inside the warm, bright room out of the dark cold.

Chloe was sitting cross legged on the bed but she looked up when Dean came into the room. She tilted her head to the side as she studied him though apparently unaware she was doing it. Dean couldn't help a sad smile lifting the corner of his mouth, he hadn't realised how used to her little habbits he had become when she had been the wild nameless girl. He was glad this one had survived.

"You okay?" she asked quietly speaking for the first time since their fight and Dean swallowed as he met her eyes, so dark yet somehow, after everything, so trusting.

"Yeah" he answered hoarsly and turned his back on her. He was going to use her. He was going to possibly destroy what remained of her soul to keep a seal from breaking and he didn't even have the courage to tell her, to warn her, to give her a choice.

"Chloe" he began quietly without facing her, "What we're going to do tonight-"

"Wait.." Chloe said slowly cutting him off, "What did you just call me?"

Dean sighed and went to sit opposite her on the parallel bed. "Chloe" he answered, "That's your real name."

"Oh" she seemed at a loss for words her dark eyes confused, "How do you know that?"

"I had a dream, or really a vision..sort of.." Dean stammered not really sure himself what it had been, "I, uh, saw you. You told me that you sold your soul to save you daughter, Hannah."

Dean watched Chloe's eyes closely to see if any of this would spark a memory but they remained just as blank, just as empty.

"I did this, to save my daughter?" Chloe said slowly as though she was speaking words foreign to her and just wanted to hear how they sounded. "Do you know anything else?"

Dean shook his head, the sudden flaring hope fading as quickly as it had come, "No, sorry."

They were silent for a moment, Dean wasn't sure what to say or rather _how _to say it.

"Chloe, I need to tell you the truth," he hesitated again.

Chloe frowned "Dean?"

"You know that if we get the disc it'll all stop" he flicked his chin towards the dark window. Chloe nodded and Dean continued, haltingly, hesitating. "It will stop because of something you will do, when you touch the disc something will happen. It'll stop the seal from breaking but . . it could kill you."

Chloe nodded, "I know" she said simply, expressionlessly.

"You know?" Dean asked shocked, "How?"

"I listen" she replied raising an eyebrow, "It wasn't exactly hard to miss. I might not have known anything but I wasn't deaf." She paused, "Besides, I was awake just now."

"Oh" Dean wasn't sure what else to say, "and you're okay with that?"

Chloe lowered her eyes, "I know what hell is and i've seen what hell can do" she said softly, "If I can do something to stop hell becoming all there is, then I will do it." She raised her head and looked Dean straight in the eye, her voice not wavering an inch, "even if it means my life."

"There could be something else" Dean protested but Chloe shook her head.

"You've heard the angels Dean you're just refusing to listen to what they are telling you."

"Yeah well i've learnt that that's sometimes a better course of action" Dean replied grimly and Chloe smiled.

"You know two days ago I would have given anything to stay alive" she said thoughtfully and then her eyes filled with tears, "But now I just want it to end. I can't handle it." Desperation filled her voice as she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, rocking slightly backwards and forwards as she tried to keep control. "I'm nothing, I look for something, anything, some reason to what I am now but there's nothing. Inside me there is nothing but fire and it's burning me alive" she whispered.

Dean didn't know what to say, there was nothing to say.

"I should be a demon" Chloe murmured almost to herself and Dean lifted his head in surprise. "I can feel the strength in me, I can feel the hate and the lust for power, the joy of inflicting pain. So why aren't I?"

"Because you can still feel compassion" Dean replied reaching out to place his hand over hers, "You could have killed me tonight, or last night I guess" he added as an afterthought and another glance at the dark window. "You wanted to, I could see that, but you didn't. Your soul is still intact Chloe and no matter what else they've taken, you've proved they can't take that from you."

Chloe wiped away the tears that were spilling down her cheeks and took a calming breath. Dean seeing she was regaining some control took his hand away.

"Dean" Chloe said after a moment, "What is your brother?"

"What do you mean what is he?"

"I feel demons when they are close and I can see their true faces" Chloe said quietly. "I can sense angels, I can sense humans but Sam, what I sense from him. He's not human, or rather not completely. There's something else there."

"He has demon blood inside him" Dean said heavily, "It was put there when he was a baby. When I was in the pit he started tapping into it, using 'powers' to take out demons."

"I know I saw him" Chloe frowned, "But it's more than that. The blood you speak of is faint, it runs through him but it doesnt dominate. Something else is overunning it, feeding off it."

"What?" Dean breathed unaware he was leaning towards her, "What can you sense about my brother? I know something is wrong."

"I don't know" Chloe said slowly shaking her head once, "It's almost as though something is filling him, converting him. I don't know, like it changes every thing it runs across." She frowned at her inability to voice was she could feel, she had no idea how to explain it.

"Take a guess" Dean said through clenched teeth anxiety settling like a hard knot in the bottom of his stomach.

"It seems like an infection almost, or a drug, if I had to guess, I would guess that it is demon blood. Not the blood that was already in him" Chloe said quickly cutting off Dean's interruption, "Different blood but I have no idea where it would have come from."

"I think I do" Dean snarled getting to his feet his face as black as a thunder cloud as anger coursed through him. "How could I not have seen it?" Dean hissed.

"Seen what?" Chloe asked leaning back away from him surprised at his sudden mood change.

"Ruby!" Dean yelled kicking the bed he had been sitting on angrily and knocking the mattress half onto the floor. "She's been doing something to him. That's why he's been changing the past few months, she's been juicing him up on her blood." Dean almost gagged as the knot in his stomach twisted leaving him with a sick feeling in his gut. He spun around and noticed out of the corner of his eye that Chloe had shrunk away from him.

He glanced at her and realised too late what his anger had been doing. Her eyes were wide with apprehension, her hands clenched into fists at her sides, the white knuckles shaking.

With effort he reigned his temper in until it simmered under the surface, filling him but not breaking free.

"Sorry" he muttered but Chloe shook her head.

She blinked a few times as though clearing her eyes of an unpleasant vision and stood up. "Where is Sam?" she asked with a quick glance at the door, "Shouldn't he have been back by now? He said he was getting air."

Dean closed his eyes unsure whether to yell or cry as the realisation hit. All the secrets, all the lies? It all led to Ruby and Sam was with her right now...preparing.

Feeling sick again Dean's eyes flew open and a new purpose filled him.

"Come on, we're going to find Sam" Dean said quickly grabbing Chloe by the arm and leading her towards the door, "And I can only hope that Ruby is with him cause that bitch is long past her expiry date."

"But Dean what about the angels? What about the seal?"

"We've still got time for that" Dean answered coldly, "We've got a day right? That's all the time I need."

Smiling with grim purpose Dean strode out into the night.

....

(_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, your thoughts are very appreciated!!. Here's the next chapter and I hope you are still enjoying it. Please keep reviewing, it keeps me writing!) :) xox_


	14. Chapter 14

"Dean?" Sam said jumping up in surprise eyeing his brother warily. There was no smile on his older brother's face, no humour in his eyes, there was cold anger in every line of his face.

"Hey Sam" Dean replied quietly, "Feel like sharing anything?"

"Like what?" Sam asked his eyes widening in innocense.

Dean glared up at his brother and before he could stop himself his fist was flying forwards connecting solidly with Sam's jaw and snapping his head back.

"What the hell have you been doing with Ruby Sam?" Dean yelled his throat burning with the volume but the anger he'd been barely controlling would not let him turn it down.

"What are you talking about Dean?" Sam's hand went to his mouth as he tenderly touched the split lip that was beginning to dribble blood down his chin.

"Look no more bullshit Sam, i'm sick of all the secrets" Dean shouted back, "You've been lieing to me for months now and i've had enough."

"I haven't been doing an-"

Sam's denial was cut off by another flying fist this time connecting so hard he staggered back.

"I said no more bullshit Sam."

"Alright, alright" Sam said quickly holding up his hands and spitting out a mouthful of blood.

Dean fixed his brother with a furious stare and waited, his hands still balled up into fists.

"She's been helping me" Sam said hesitantly, "Helping me get stronger."

"Stronger?" Dean raised an eyebrow incredulously, "Have you been listening to me EVER?? I told you you're not going down this road."

"Then how are we supposed to stop Lilith Dean? In case you haven't noticed seals are still breaking!"

"That's not your job."

"Then whose is it Dean? The angels? Because last time I checked they weren't doing a bang up job."

"It's mine Sam" Dean replied coldly, "I'm the one who is meant to stop this, not you and I am going to do it the good old fashioned way, the way Dad taught us!" He turned away unable to look at his brother anymore, when had so much distance come between them?

"And what if that doesn't work Dean?" Sam asked Dean's back, "What happens then?"

"We die."

"Oh we die! How noble" Sam retorted sarcastically and Dean spun back to face him.

"At least we'll die _human!_"

Sam clenched his teeth his own hands curling into fists but he didn't answer.

Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Come on Sam, Chloe's waiting, we've got a seal to save." He turned and began to walk towards the door, he thought he could have confronted Sam about what Chloe had said, but he couldn't, not yet. He didn't want to see him confirm it, didn't want to see him try to justify it.

"What, that's it?"

"For now" Dean said without turning his head, "Believe it or not we've actually got something important to be doing."

....

Dean leaned forward and squinted through the windscreen.

"There" Chloe said gesturing towards a vague shape Dean could only just see, "That's them."

He glanced over at her but her face was expressionless, her eyes dark. She seemed the picture of calm but he knew what was going on inside her, he knew the hell she now carried around inside her, the hell even sleep couldn't make go away. He carried it too.

"Let's go."

The three piled out of the impala and crossed the street to where two angels stood before the museum.

"Our garrison has surrounded the building, no demon's will get in and we will get any that try to get out" Cas said a slight edge to his usually unruffled voice "It's up to you."

Raphael nodded his head once, his expression clearly indicating his unhappiness with the situtation.

"You understand what you must do?"

Chloe lifted her head to gaze at the angel's face, she seemed to blink as she met Castiel's eyes as though she was looking directly at a bright light. Not for the first time Dean wondered what exactly she could see.

"Yes" she replied barely above a whisper.

"Then good luck."

....

Silently they crept through the dark corridors Sam leading the way towards the gyptian exhibit. Following the dark shape of his brother Dean couldn't help thinking that this was where Sam belonged, if only he wasn't here to fight demons.

Dean jumped around as he heard a sound to his right but before he could lift either gun or holy water both had fallen from his hands as his back slammed into the wall behind him so hard the plaster cracked. Hearing a shout and a thump from Sam's direction Dean knew his brother had suffered a similar fate and his eyes narrowed with hate as a demon stepped out of the shadows. She was young, her blonde hair falling in a straight sheet to skim her shoulders. A cruel smile danced about her lips looking out of place on such a gentle face. A inky blackness spread across her eyes turning the hazel human eyes into that of a demon as she bent to pick up Dean's fallen gun.

"Sorry boys" she said her smile widening, "but the road ends here, your angel friends can't help you and we will not be stopped."

Dean couldn't help his eyes flicking over her shoulder as he saw a faint movement, "Sure about that?" he asked with his own grin. The demon frowned and began to turn her head but before she could a hand flew out of nowhere and yanked her back throwing her across the wooden floor, the gun flying out of her hand. Chloe sank into a fighting stance her teeth bared as the demon slowly got to her feet.

"You'll pay for that bitch" she spat and launched herself forwards. The demon and Chloe whirled around each other trading punches, Chloe ducked under the demon's fist and slammed her own into the demon's stomach swiping her feet out from under her in the same movement. The demon slammed down to the ground but rolled out of the way as Chloe's punch swung down missing the demon by an inch and punching a hole in the wooden floor. Chloe wrenched her hand out blood flowing freely from her knuckles but she seemed unaware as she turned towards the demon. The demon leapt to her feet and kicked Chloe on the jaw throwing her backwards. Spitting out a mouthful of blood Chloe tried to gain her feet but the demon stepped in again and kicked her abdomen flipping her over onto her back as she flew a few more feet and landed hard against the wall landing on the hard ground among a shower of cracked and broken plaster.

The demon grinned and knelt down in front of her, pale hands reaching for her throat. But in a swift blur of movement Dean couldn't quite follow Chloe leapt up and caught the demon by the neck and by the hair flipping her over to land astride her.

"Go back to hell you bitch" Chloe hissed her hands pressed against each side of the demon's head her fingers closed over it's ears. Swiftly she began to speak in a voice too low and fast for Dean to catch the words.

Threads of yellow fire seemed to spread from each of Chloe's hands crackling through the demon's skull like electricity. The demon screamed her back arched in agony and then she slumped beneath Chloe still and empty.

The pressure holding Dean against the wall lifted and he fell to the floor Sam landing with huff next to him.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked climbing to his feet and quickly picking up his fallen gun and flask.

Chloe shrugged as she too got to her feet, "Amazing what you can learn after a thousand years in the pit."

Her voice was light and joking but her eyes were anything but as she led the way down the corridor and Dean couldn't help wondering where exactly she had 'picked it up'.

The Egyptian exhibit was exactly the same as the last time he had seen it, only this time it was dark and the room was empty. Empty except for the four figures standing in a line in front of the pedestal on which the golden disc stood.

"Any ideas?" Sam asked as the trio walked up the gallery towards the four motionless figures.

"Right, Sam you and i'll distract the demons, Chloe as soon as you see a gap, go for it, get the disc."

A wave of apprehension rolled through him as she calmly nodded but he ignored it, there wasn't time for that. In a little under four hours dawn would be breaking . . or not, but when it did every first born would die. How many innocents would that equal? It was for that reason alone, Dean knew they had no choice and he knew Chloe had understood and accepted that too.

Dean slipped his gun into the waistband of his jeans and pulled out Ruby's demon killing knife. It was the only weapon that gave them the slightest advantage and he intended to use it. Silently he apologised to the innocents that were being possessed as two of the demon's charged and Sam let loose with the holy water. The two demons hissed as the water steamed off them and as they flinched back the brother's leapt forward. Sam kicked one has hard as he could sending it flying backwards while Dean grabbed the other by the shoulder and shoved the blade hilt deep into the demon's chest. He wrenched it free as spasms shook the body as the demon died his attention already on the remaining three.

Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw Chloe begin to creep silently around the side of the gallery while the demon's attention was focused entirely on the boys.

Dean saw a demon charge but distracted by Chloe's movements he was too slow to react and the knife went spinning out of his hand while at the same time a fist collided so hard with his jaw that his vision momentarily blackened.

He heard a demon scream and hoped that Sam had somehow gotten hold of the knife.

He struggled to stand up only to be knocked down again as a solid pedestal was slammed into his chest. He gasped as the breath was knocked out of him with the impact wincing as he heard something crack. Lieing flat on his back he glanced up to see the demon standing over him, an evil smile on his face as he lifted the heavy pedestal above his head. Dean closed his eyes and cringed his head to the side waiting for the impact that would soon be crashing down on his skull when there was a sudden shout. Daring to look he glanced up to see the demon too had looked towards the source of the sound. Squinting down the dark gallery Dean saw Chloe leaping over the fallen body of one of the demons as she reached for the disc.

He didn't realise he was holding his breath as every remaining conscious person in the room turned to look as Chloe's hands pressed against the sides of the disc and she lifted it clear.

_...._

_(Hey, sorry again for it being so long since I updated. So the story is winding down, hopefully will have the ending up for you soon. As always, please review :) xoxoxoxo)_


	15. Chapter 15

Dean heard Chloe cry out in pain as the disc began to glow with a brilliant golden light. He pulled himself into sitting position barely aware of the pain as his eyes remained locked on Chloe, for a light was beginning to glow within her too. It was a glittering white light, so pure, so beautiful but it was fractured and broken, barely discernable in places and where the broken light wasn't spilling from her there was a deep darkness. Dean was amazed to feel sadness filling him as he looked on the broken light, how beautiful and brilliant would the light have looked if it had been whole?

But now the golden light was filtering into the gaps left by the white, overunning the faint places, plugging every hole. Chloe staggered but her hands did not lose contact with the disc as Dean looked away unable to keep his eyes on the light any longer.

He heard the demons scream as the light filled the room and instinctively cringed away as the pedestal that had been about to claim his life clanged harmlessly to the floor, the strong hands holding it aloft, gone.

It felt like the very air was being leeched from the room and the heat that had begun washing over him was reaching unbearable. Dimly he was aware of Chloe screaming but he couldn't reach her, he couldn't see, he couldn't even find his feet.

At last there was silence except for two distinct sounds, one was the thunk of the golden disc hitting the wooden floor and other was the unmistakable thump of a body hitting the floor.

"Chloe!" Dean yelled blinking as he struggled to adjust his blinded sight.

He painfully struggled to his feet and glanced around, the four demons lay scattered on the floor. Sam was crouched near by lifting a shielding hand from his eyes as he raised his head. But Dean's eyes had locked on the golden disc lying on the floor by its former perch and next to it, Chloe.

He staggered forwards till he could fall to his knees at her side. Reaching out he pulled her too thin body towards him, supporting her head with his hand.

Her eyes were open but they were completely white. As he watched the glittering light that was every so faintly still around her and in her eyes was beginning to fade, streaming away from her in all directions and disappearing. Almost like how the last scene in a movie stilled and then slowly faded to black. The end.

"Chloe?" Dean whispered attempting to control the shaking of his lips as a tear slid down his cheek. Funny, he'd never used to cry, now it seemed it was all he did.

The light was almost gone and Dean knew, without knowing how he knew, that it had been her soul and whatever had held the fragile shattered remains in place for so long, was gone. Anna had been right, the disc had destroyed her soul.

"I'm sorry Dean" a voice said and Dean glanced up to see Cas standing above him, his trench coat unruffled, his tie loose, his face . . expressionless.

"Do something" Dean yelled up at the angel, his face contorted in anger and pain, "Her soul isn't gone yet, you can still save her you can stop it from leaving, it's still here, keep it here!!"

"What you see are disjointed fragments" Cas replied quietly, "Like dust, left behind. Her soul is gone and that is something we can not bring back, as much as you would like us too."

Dean glanced down at Chloe's face, the light was almost gone now, he could see the colour of her eyes once more. They were a brilliant, pure blue no trace of black to be found. The blue eyes were locked on his face but Dean knew they couldn't see him, there was nothing left to see him.

He reached out a shaking finger to lightly touch her cheek, the warmth of life that had filled the shell was already retreating, the coldness of death taking its place.

"I'm so sorry Chloe" Dean whispered lightly kissing her forehead as he gently closed her eyes, "For everything."

But she wouldn't hear him, she wouldn't respond. There wasn't a spirit to see how his heart was breaking, how the guilt he'd been feeling since he'd first seen her was threatening to tear him apart. Not content to merely torture her, he'd destroyed her.

"It's not your fault Dean" Sam said quietly from he'd come to kneel at his brother's side, "We didn't have a choice and Chloe knew that. She knew what was at stake and she chose her fate."

Dean didn't look up, he didn't want to look at his brother, he may have been right, hell he was right, but at that second he didn't care.

"Not now Sammy" Dean replied barely above a whisper.

Sam hesitated then nodded, briefly he clasped his older brother's shoulder before standing up. He stood silently for a moment gazing down at his brother cradling the empty shell of what had once been a living breathing person. This was what hell did, it tore you apart, it broke you, it changed you . . it never left you. This was why Sam did what he did, Dean would do anything for him, he knew that and he would do anything for his brother, anything. If that meant he had to become something other than he was to stop Lilith, then he would do it. He was tired of watching his brother get beat down time and time again, he was tired of seeing the shadows in Dean's eyes, tired of seeing his once strong shoulders continually sag beneath the weight that had been placed on them. If he could take that away, then he would, no matter how he had to do it.

Dean was barely aware of Sam's retreating footsteps, didn't see Castiel's eyes follow Sam from the gallery. Tears weren't falling from his eyes anymore, a blank hopelessness had taken their place, an emptiness deep inside him. No thoughts tore through his head, no feelings shattered his already bruised heart, he just sat there, blank eyes staring down at a blank face.

"What do I fight for Cas?" Dean asked his voice just as devoid of emotion, "Why do I fight so hard if this is all there is? She deserved better than this."

"Sacrifices must be made" Castiel replied gently, "And with hers, Chloe saved countless lives."

"I don't care, I don't care about anything anymore, i'm done with it, with all of it, I don't want to feel anything anymore."

"I understand how hard this is for you Dean" Castiel said quietly.

Dean didn't look up, "You could never understand Cas" he said bitterly to weary to yell at the angel, "No one ever could."

Castiel was silent for a moment then softly began to recite.

"_If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and I have faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender by my body to the flames, but have not love I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. __It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away . . and now these things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."_

Dean was silent, he'd heard that passage before, it was from the bible, his mother had read it to him once. A long time ago.

"The love you are capable of feeling is not a weakness Dean" Cas said and Dean could almost detect a faint trace of bitterness or longing in the angels voice. "It is your strength, it allows you to keep going when other's would falter or fall. It was love that allowed Chloe to cling to the fractured pieces of her soul, it was love that has brought you to where you are now, love for your father, love for your brother."

"And look what's come of it" Dean muttered, "I'm the reason Lucifer may break free, my Dad's dead, Chloe's gone and Sam. . I don't even know what the hell he is anymore."

Castiel nodded, "You have been given a hard road to travel but you haven't finished yet, love has brought you this far and if you let it, love will carry you to the end. Don't give up yet Dean, your brother needs you, we need you, the world needs you."

Dean sighed and looked up at the angel but Cas was gone.

He didn't want to think about what the angel had said, love wasn't a strength, it was a weakness, one that evil used ruthlessly.

Dean bowed his head too weary to stand yet and so he just remained bent in the dark, Chloe's empty body across his knees.

.....

Dean paused leaning on his shovel, his broken ribs aching like crazy as he struggled to control his breathing. Digging a grave with broken ribs . . not a good idea. But he had to, screw the pain. Dean eased his way into the hole, wincing as the movement pulled at his chest.

"Pass her down Sammy."

Sam knelt down on the edge of the grave gently lowering Chloe's wrapped body down into Dean's waiting arms.

"At least she's not suffering anymore" Sam said later as he patted down the last of the dirt.

Dean didn't answer just nodded his eyes on the freshly turned earth.

Sam glanced at his brother concern flashing briefly in his brown eyes, Dean had barely said a word since Chloe's death the night before.

"She saved a hell of a lot of lives Dean"

"Yeah" he sighed, "I know."

"It feels wrong to leave her without some kind of marker" Sam said after a minute.

"Perhaps we can help" a soft voice said and Anna and Castiel stepped up beside the brothers.

"What do you care?" Dean muttered

"Chloe saved a seal" Anna replied, "She was brave and I wish we could have saved her. Perhaps we could have if her soul had been whole but it was too weak, it was a marvel it was able to close the seal at all."

"Can the seal be reopened?" Sam asked quickly.

Cas shook his head, "The disc will never work again, Chloe saw to that."

"What do you want it to say Dean?" Anna asked moving to the hunter's elbow.

Dean was quiet for a minute, his brow slightly creased in thought as he looked down at the dirt that would house the decaying bones for years to come.

He turned his head slightly and whispered a few words, Anna nodded and smiled as Sam and Cas looked on with identical frowns of confusion.

"That will do well" Anna said placing a hand on Dean's shoulder comfortingly, just for a brief second, before moving away.

The sky darkened slightly and there was a flash and before where there had been nothing there stood a grey, white stone. Etched deeply in the smooth surface were these words,

**CHLOE SUMMERS**

"**LOVE NEVER FAILS"**

"So, what now Dean?" Sam asked as shadows were beginning to fall around the brother's still standing by the grave.

"We keep going Sammy" Dean replied lifting his head, "We're not going to let them win."

"Will you be okay?"

Dean thought about what they had done and what they still had to do. He thought about what Castiel had said, maybe there was some truth in it after all. He was stronger when there was something he was fighting for, maybe as Castiel had said, it was love he'd been fighting for all along. Sam was still here, Sam still needed him. He glanced up at his younger brother, meeting his eyes.

"I will be." He bit his lip for a second then nodded decisively, "It's time we figured out our next move Sam, we'll go to Bobby's start there."

Sam nodded and moved away towards the car but Dean lingered behind, just a moment longer his eyes on the grave marker.

People had told him what he'd done in hell hadn't been his fault, Sam, Anna . . and Chloe. The other two couldn't understand but Chloe, she could and if she of all people didn't blame him, then maybe they were right. Maybe what he'd done hadn't been his fault. As this thought washed through him a wave of something followed after, like a healing balm. It wasn't forgiveness, for he could never truly forgive himself but maybe acceptance. As he accepted it, the pain grew a little less. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault. What would be his fault was if he wallowed in self pity and let the seals break, what would be his fault was if he let Chloe's sacrifice be in vain. He wouldn't let it.

They had started it together and now Chloe had done her part, it was time for him to do his.

No way in hell was he letting Lucifer free.

.............

_The End. Thank you everyone who has been reading and has reviewed, (any final thoughts would be appreciated.) Will maybe be writing another Supernatural story, sometime soon. They are just so much fun to write, so many great angles to persue. The creators have done a wonderful job. So keep an eye out for any more I may be posting. Thanks again xoxoxoxoxox._


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